Sorority Row

It’s stalk ’n’ slash remake time again, as largely forgotten 1983 nasty The House on Sorority Row’ is transformed into a booty-shakin’, text-messagin’, Facebook-referencin’ multiplex moneyspinner for undemanding twenty-first-century teens.

When one of their ‘sisters’ dies as the result of a wildly misjudged prank, a gang of final-year American students decide to cover it up. But someone knows what they did last summer and isn’t about to let the girls get away with it…

‘Sorority Row’ isn’t as completely dire as its pedigree suggests: the script contains a few nicely barbed one-liners, while Stewart Hendler’s relatively tasteful handling of the death scenes results in a few throat-grabbing shocks. And, to its credit, the movie never attempts to present its self-serving central characters  as anything other than repellent, devious over-privileged monsters. But it also never delivers a decent reason for us to spend 101 minutes in their company, resulting in a shallow, occasionally diverting but largely irrelevant horror throwback.