Supersonic Man

This Superman spin-off doesn't just fall flat; it's right down there with the most incoherent movies ever made. It features cod science, cod dialogue, Supersonic Man's codpiece, and an understandable air of resignation which permeates every scene. Just as Biblical B-fodder lets you know that Our Redeemer shaved his armpits, so this tortuous D-flick surprises you with the information that 'Shakespeare said death can be expensive, painful and ugly'. Bombastic Cameron Mitchell plays the heavy, endlessly misquoting history's megalomaniacs so you'll know that he's one too, and Supersonic Man looks like Ted Kennedy in tights. Send back the cornflakes; this one isn't even fit for Saturday morning TV.