The Visitor

One of those Italian sex'n'satire movies, this deliberates for most of its ponderous 99 minutes over the problems leading up to that magical first fuck. The boy's skinny, keeps his head in his Latin text and his mind elsewhere; the girl's more beautiful than one can reasonably expect of a cousin; and there's a muscle-bound friend to kick sand around and complicate the plot. Meanwhile the clergy, fat mothers, and constipated fathers are lampooned in a heavy-handed sort of way, while maids stand around and scratch their legs. An hour and a half leading up to something that probably only lasted thirty seconds (there's a discreet fadeout), and you have an idea of what a huge waste of time it all is. Worth noting in passing that it was exactly this type of film that Polanski took apart so effectively in What?. The fact that Carlo Ponti produced both is also fairly revealing.