Tintorera

La Dolce Vita on an exclusive island resort off Mexico is disrupted by a heavy-breathing shark. The standard of this Jaws rip-off is lamentable, as the press handout lets slip: 'The crazed shark attacks the hunter furiously - in a scene that is among the most appalling ever filmed'. Everyone and everything competes for last prize in this no-no: Susan George beds down with two shark-hunting dilettantes for one of the most listless three-way relationships ever; the script flounders even more than the shark. 'I am worried about how this is going to end' confides one character in a moment of rare candour. 'But I know it must end one of these days' he concludes hopefully - an act of faith beyond the grasp of the languishing audience.