TMNT

Reducing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to an acronym is one of this film’s many misguided attempts to tamp down the cowabunga dopiness that made its comic-book heroes in a half shell so phenomenally popular in their late ’80s--early ’90s heyday—spawning an animated series, three live-action theatrical releases and a Vanilla Ice rap. What remains is intensely numbing action scenes, poor plot machinations and joyless character sketches all rendered in exquisitely cold CGI. (Opens Fri; Click here for venues.) — Stephen Garrett