This movie has the conviction of a farce negligently translated from an obscure foreign dialect. The action takes place on the fictional island of Cascara, which becomes the subject of international dispute when a long-neglected oil well is reopened and strikes...Perrier. American oilmen, Brit paratroopers, film crews, assorted mercenaries and revolutionaries move in as the plot trickles towards a conclusion in which a gang comprising executive producer George Harrison's old mates (Starr, Clapton, et al) gives an exquisitely embarrassing rock performance. Fine actors such as Vaccaro, Connolly and Rossiter, recognising a lame horse when they see one, camp it up for all they're worth, and it is left to Caine, giving yet another understated and perfectly timed performance as Cascara's beleaguered governor, to push Water limping across the finishing line. Eau-ful.