Frozen in a death grimace more embarrassing than eerie, Hatchet is a heaping helping of yesterday’s dismembered limbs: an ’80s-style retroslasher that’s so tongue-in-cheek, it barely functions as a thriller. Several collegians hit Louisiana swampland for a nighttime “ghost tour.” Soon enough, they’ve invaded the personal space of deranged spook Victor Crowley (Hodder), who makes some cuts. The pregore banter is funny, particular that from a pair of dim girls gone wild (“Your nipples are dumb”). But anyone feeding into this nostalgia is yearning for a kind of warm and fuzzy horror that’s wholly irrelevant today.
Cast and crew
Kane Hodder Robert Englund Joel Murray Patrika Darbo Deon Richmond Joshua Leonard Richard Riehle Parry Shen Tony Todd Joleigh Fioreavanti Tamara Feldman Joel David Moore John Carl Buechler Mercedes McNab