THU 20 IN THE FLESH
Penthouse editor and TONY contributor Rachel Kramer Bussel hosts the third-anniversary party for this risqué reading series. Authors Trey Ellis and David Henry Sterry, along with comedian Margot Leitman and pornographer Jincey Lumpkin, read and perform. Toast their boldness with $5 well drinks and a spread of sweets from Kumquat Cupcakery. Babeland provides the giveaway loot. FREE Happy Ending, 302 Broome St between Eldridge and Forsyth Sts (212-334-9676). 8–10pm.

THU 20 STUDIO 54
Relive your disco days at Town Tavern’s Studio 54 party. Platforms and polyester are encouraged, and drink specials include $1 Miller Lights (6–7pm), “Steve Rubell” shots and “Shag Me Shooters” (each $3 until 9pm). Dirt-cheap booze and disco tunes—that’s the way (uh-huh, uh-huh) we like it… FREE The Town Tavern, 134 W 3rd St between Sixth Ave and MacDougal St (212-253-6955). 6pm–4am.

SAT 22 14TH ANNUAL UES FALL BAR TOUR
Hit this uptown crawl before winter makes you lose the will to barhop. The fun starts at Ace’s & Eights, where partyers can pick up an all-access bracelet, a map of the seven participating UES pubs (among them Tin Lizzie and Rathbones) and—oy—a basket of free chicken fingers. Specials include two-buck Miller Lites, $3 kamikazes and half-off appetizers. Bring at least two canned goods for City Harvest and get $5 off the ticket price. Aces & Eights, 1683 First Ave at 87th St (212-860-4020, lindypromo.com). 1–9pm, $15.

MON 24 THE BIG QUIZ THING
Finally, a financially viable use for that English degree. Cash prizes totalling $250 are on the line at this lit-heavy trivia night hosted by TONY’s Noah Tarnow. Identify books by their back covers during the video round—you can still win Smart-Ass Points for wrong but clever answers. CHEAP Crash Mansion, 199 Bowery at Spring St (bigquizthing.com). 7:30pm, $7.

MON 24 WRECK ROOM BINGO
Try your hand at the weekly bingo night at this auto-inspired dive. The victor scores free shots, free beer or a modest bar tab. Two-buck shots and a $2 beer special from 2 to 9pm are available for everyone else. FREE The Wreck Room, 940 Flushing Ave at Evergreen Ave, Bushwick, Brooklyn (718-418-6347). 9–11pm.