Girl, are you the F train? Our favorite transit-related insults
Photograph: Creative Commons/Courtesy of Chris Goldberg
New Yorkers love trains. In fact, we love trains so much that we've started incorporating our favorite rides in our insults. Here's a few that have been heard around the TONY office!
- Girl, are you the F train? Because you're never there when I need you, and when you are, you're a hot mess.
- Boy, are you the R train? Because you haven't worked in two years.
- Girl, are you the L train? Because there's so many hipsters in you it's shameful.
- Boy, are you the G train? Because you never, ever go outside of your borough and you're a colossal disappointment.
- Girl, are you the S train? Because you're never gonna go very far.
- Boy, are you the 1 train? Because you're way too busy but very well connected.
- Girl, are you the A train? Because what the fuck is that smell.
- Boy, are you the E train? Because I don't see myself going very far with you at night.
- Girl, are you the C train? Because you saved my ass getting home the other night.
- Boy, are you the 2, 4 or 5 train? Because you confuse the living fuck out of me.
- Girl, are you the J or Z train? Because you have an identity crisis.
- Boy, are you the 7 local train? Because ain't nobody got time for that.
- Girl, are you the LIRR? Because you're the manic pixie dream train in that you make escapism way too convenient.
- Boy, are you the 6 train? Because you're not as good as reports say you are.
- Girl, are you the planned Second Avenue T train? Because you're taking forever to come.
- Boy, are you the M train? Because you're never around on weekends.
- Girl, are you the JFK AirTrain? Because I feel like we're just going in circles.
- Fire Island bans booze on all federally owned beaches
- Every Seinfeld episode is (possibly) heading to Netflix
- Yes To is giving out free swag in Brooklyn this weekend
- The Roots play a free concert to celebrate Times Square Guitar Center
- Nights at the opera: Met lockout, alt-opera troupes and Will Eno makes Ibsen sing