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If you skip the line to exit the Bedford Ave station, you're the scum of New York

Written by
Jillian Anthony
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Hey, fellow L train straphanger. Ugh, the Bedford Avenue stop, what a shitshow, huh? Always so crowded no matter what time of day or night it is, and those single-file stairwells to get in and out on either direction! Sometimes I'll wait a couple of minutes to actually leave the subway stati— Oh, what's that? You don't wait in line to exit the station, you cut to the front of the line every time? Well I'm here to tell you YOU'RE THE SCUM OF NEW YORK, ASSHOLE.

The line is single file for a simple reason: Only two human beings can fit in the stairwells at the same time, one to exit and one to enter. And, the Bedford Ave stop almost constantly has people entering and exiting. So, when I'm patiently standing in line with my fellow commuters who've all had long, arduous days and are dreaming of the leftover mac 'n' cheese in their fridge they're aching to get home to, and you walk straight to the front of the line, effectively telling all of us to go fuck ourselves, I have a serious problem with it.

First of all, you're not more important than a single one of us. Sorry if you're late. Sorry if you're impatient. Sorry if you own one of those waterfront apartments on North 4th. Whatever reason you think you're good enough to exit the subway before all of us, CHECK YOURSELF. You're not. We're all New Yorkers in a hurry to get to our destination, you piece of shit.

Also, logistically, what you're doing is hurting all of us. Again, there's only space for two people in the stairwell at at time. So when you push your way to the front of the line then try to dart up the stairwell, there will always be someone coming down, and then you have to merge into our single-file line, slowing everyone down and delaying the process even further. Oh, and you usually end up pushing me, a model citizen who waits her turn, out of the way in the process. You're an awful dickbag.

If you are a line-cutter, you have no excuse for it, and you're a jerk. I hope you miss the L train by mere seconds every day of the rest of your life. 

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