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This evening nearly 20,000 of the city’s practicing Catholics attended Pope Francis’s mass at Madison Square Garden and thousands of others lined the streets yesterday and today for a chance to see him. During his two-day whirlwind visit to New York the holy leader offered blessings and heard the people’s prayers. Since it may be a while before the pope returns, we thought we’d add some prayers to his (admittedly extremely long) list. You know, if he has any extra space.
-May the L train never need weekend construction again
-Bequeath unto each of us a partner with a dog/car/HBOGo subscription
-May the 2nd Ave subway line actually open
-Grant the Yankees and/or the Mets the strength to make it to the world series (we're not picky)
-Bestow blessings onto the heroes who sell dollar slices
-Bring tidings of a mild winter, unlike the frozen hell of 2014/2015
-Bless Taylor Swift's cat.
-Give landlords the will to NOT increase our rents
-Smite the handsy costumed characters in Times Square (we know Pope Francis isn't the smiting type, but maybe he'll make an exception)
-Bring health to sick passengers and make them well before an MTA official needs to get involved
-Please, bring a stop to MetroCard fare hikes (or will that the MTA come into a pile of money)
-May the LaGuardia renovation be swift and yield a beautiful new airport with no delays
-Grant us a new Penn Station
-Bring PizzaRat and Milkshake Squirrel together in friendship
-Let Jay Z contribute to the Pope’s new rock/pop album