The perv's guide to NYC

We hit the streets, the strip clubs and gay Bronx orgies in search of the city's scintillating underground. Lord have mercy, Staten Island is sexier than you think!

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  • KinkyJews' Passover seder


Manhattan | Brooklyn | Queens | Staten Island | Bronx

 

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Brown Bag Parties, Williamsburg and Bedford-Stuyvesant
Jerneal Edmund started working as a "sextoyologist" for Brown Bag Parties—think Tupperware parties, but with dildos and body oils— this summer. Still, in the two dozen soireesparties she's hosted, Edmunds has seen some trends: Williamsburg events can get raucous, thanks to all the fans of leaning toward the Rabbit vibrator and ben wa balls, while Bed-Stuy is more staid, favoring creams and candles. Not totally coincidentally, the 35-year-old mother of three jokes she hopes to move to Williamsburg soon. (brownbagparty.com, designedforpassion.com)

Fondle
South Brooklyn Pizza made waves in February when it launched Fondle, a weekly gay night featuring go-go dancers. It looked for a while like the police might shut the event down under city cabaret laws. But Ruben Alban, the pizza place's manager, says things settled a bit once the media attention passed. "The big issue was that it's a real Catholic neighborhood," he says. "People were sort of thrown off by it." Now there's a truce and Fondle is a Monday-night fixture, though not without grumbling from some neighbors. 451 Court St at 4th Pl, Carroll Gardens (718-852-6018)

Kings County, Bushwick
Andrew Michael Ford curates a regular photography exhibit at this bar, and when he noticed he was getting several fetish-style submissions for every show, he decided the kinky stuff merited a spotlighta show of its own, startopening Saturday 19. Ford says he and co-curator Marisa Olney are planning sequels too, and he'll be sexing-up his regular weekly events at the bar with burlesque and go-go dancing. In a more open-minded time, the fetish photographers "probably would have been snwrapped up by galleries in Manhattan somewhere," says Ford. "But because there's so few opportunities to show their work, they're really eager to show [it here], even if it's in a bar." 286 Seigel St between Bogart and White Sts (718-418-8823)

KinkyJews' Passover seder
For four years now, Jews and goyim looking to spice up the holy week have turned to the Passover seder hosted by the KinkyJews, a group with more than 2,000 members in its online community. The seder is a Brooklyn affair, and its 100 or so seats always sell out. Here's how it works: After a traditional seder meal—leavened with erotic storytelling—the tables are put away and mattresses come out for massages, sex play, S&M demonstrations and more. KJ founder and president Naomi D. shrugs off the annual criticism from her faith's more conservative adherents. "If they did take part, they'd see that it's done in the spirit of togetherness," she says, adding that Passover is a good fit. "It just lends itself very well to themes of slavery and bondage." kinkyjews.com

3rd Ward
The erotic-photography class at design center 3rd Ward used to feature professional models brought in by the instructor, Chiun Kai Shih. But for recent sessions, students have had to find their own subjects. "The challenge is, how are you going to get somebody to put themselves in a compromising pose, get a little bit naked?," says J. Perelmuter, the center's education director. The weekly class, whose next session runs October 7 through November 4, culminates with a group show. 573 Metropolitan Ave between Lorimer and Union Aves, Williamsburg (718-715-4961, 3rdward.com)

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Bustpup
Some would call it a dream job. For Eric, who organizes porn screenings for Brooklyn's Bustpup, it's just a chance to get some reading done. Bustpup—which is basically a porn market-research company—finds audience members through word of mouth or, occasionally, on Craigslist, to watch unreleased half-hour scenes from sites like Backseat Bangers and College Fuckfest and rate them, at $25 a pop. The screenings take place either in the volunteers' apartments or in Eric's Crown Heights pad, and the producers use these sessions to decide what goes into their movies. The scenes are straight, gay and everything in between, 120-plus of them a week, and 24-year-old Eric is there for every viewing. "I will pay attention and watch some of them," he says. "Other times I'll have The New York Times in hand." The questions they face range from the general to the very specific: "I'm told to tell people, 'If you need to pleasure yourself at some point in the film, do it,'" says Eric. "One of the questions is, 'At what point did you ejaculate?'" So are they taking sign-ups? "Nope," Eric says. "I don't want new people coming over to my apartment every day. I want the same people that I have grown friendships with. They get paid, we get paid, it all works out."

Club Casbar
Casbar, a sex club in the former Fetish Warehouse space adjacent to the Gowanus Expressway, got a New York Times write-up on February 25, but was shut down in April after undercover city inspectors said they saw "high-risk sexual activity" there. The club's owner, Rudy C., tells TONY he has been lying low, but isn't gone for good. "We are trying to work with the health department and the city to provide a safer environment for people who prefer this type of lifestyle," says Rudy. A proposal for a new venue, complete with disease-awareness programs, is forthcoming. But the old spot—with its glory holes, tie-up cage and baked ziti buffet—is history. "They completely killed the scene [there]," gripes Rudy. "If you want to know, the nightlife in New York City is dead and has been for a long, long time. This has become a very boring city." clubcasbar.com

Foodswings
Tempeh Reuben. Hard-core porn. Great tastes that taste great together? They did for a few shining moments in December 2008 at this vegan fast-food joint. Credit former chef-owner Freedom Tripodi for the combination: He invited friends from Burning Angel, a porn production company based in the neighborhood, to shoot scenes there, as well as regular customer and lesbian porn star Madison Young (Lesbian Life: Real Sex NYC). "We did catch a lot of bad publicity for doing the Burning Angel stuff at first," says Tripodi. "The vegan community is a little on the politically correct side." Young's shoot was likely the last; Tripodi sold the resto a few weeks later, and the new owners say there are no more plans for porn. Still, next time you stop by for a soy turkey club hero, try to guess where Madison Young had her...feast. 295 Grand St between Havemeyer and Roebling Sts, Williamsburg (718-388-1919, foodswings.net).—Jake Mooney

The stats

500 feet: The distance adult businesses are supposed to maintain between each other under city law
5: The number of adult video stores between 35th and 45th Streets on Sunset Park's Third Avenue
2: The number of storefront Pentecostal churches along the same stretch
10 feet: The distance between the front doors of Las Video (3906 Third Ave) and Iglesia Pentecostal Alfa y Omega (3908 Third Ave)
1: The number of times Rev. Miguel Nieves, Iglesia Pentecostal Alfa y Omega's pastor, has been propositioned for sex outside his church

 

 

Manhattan | Brooklyn | Queens | Staten Island | Bronx

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