The food, the people, the fact we have actual seasons…we honestly struggled to stop at 31
By Time Out editors Thu May 15 2014
Photograph: Courtesy Shutterstock
New York is better than Los Angeles. This is a fact (to New Yorkers, at least). We've compiled 31 solid reasons for residents of NYC to brag, but don't worry—in the interests of fair play, our frenemies at Time Out Los Angeles have concocted a (dumb, stupid) list of their own. Scroll to the end of the piece to see their response!
1. New Yorkers don't have to spend upwards of three hours a day trapped in their cars. Walking! Ever heard of it? It's nice.
2. We don't have an instant panic attack the moment we smell carbs.
3. New York stinks of weed just one day out of the year.
4. Madonna lives in New York when she's a cool rock star, and LA when she's a creepy, desperate actor.
5. We actually have seasons here. Sure, LA residents felt pretty smug when NYC was frozen in the frigid depths of wintry hell this year, but watching the whole city burst into life each spring is wonderful. When it's 78 degrees and sunny every single day, what do you have to look forward to?
6. LA has really great Mexican food. New York has really good EVERYTHING ELSE.
7. NYC may have quite a bit of noise, but one thing you don't hear amidst the honking, screeching of trains, jackhammering and yelling? Coughing. Because we don't live in a dense layer of smog.
8. It's possible to walk more than five blocks in New York without encountering a reality TV show's worth of Botox accidents and wonky boob jobs.
9. We can go out drinking whenever we want, without the hassle of trying to find a designated driver. And if the bar we're in sucks (which it almost never does), there's always half a dozen more a stone's throw away.
10. No one in NYC wears Juicy Couture sweatsuits to walk around outside.
Boats in Central Park
Photograph: Michael Kirby
11. Our restaurants are not only amazing, but they serve food in normal portions that a human being can actually be expected to finish.
12. We have Brooklyn, which is now shorthand for indie cool all over the world. They don't talk about "très Brentwood" in Paris…
13. You're far less likely to be run off the road by a crazed paparazzo chasing Lindsay Lohan around hoping for a drunk upskirt shot.
14. It's possible to make friends and/or be successful in New York without joining an alien-worshipping cult.
15. You can meander happily for an entire day in New York with no idea where you'll end up. In L.A., you'll drive to one cool neighborhood, go into the three or four places they have there, then get into your car and go to another "cool" place. It's too structured, dammit!
16. Our city doesn't have the creepy-as-hell vibe of Mulholland Drive. [Shiver]
17. People in New York don't turn their nose up at you when you tell them you don't work in the entertainment industry.
18. We have far fewer parking restrictions in NYC. Alternate-side parking for street cleaning is the bane of our lives, yes. But trying to decipher five parking signs posted on top of each other in LA for 30 minutes and then walking back to your car and finding a ticket? YOU'RE KILLING ME.
19. If any of your New York friends are working on a script, they're polite enough to keep it to themselves.
21. Gridlock traffic at 2am on the freeway? Get the eff out of here.
22. NYC's most famous movie quote—"I'm walkin' here!"—is active, tough and taking no shit. LA's most famous movie quote—"I'm ready for my close-up"— is passive, self-involved and delusional.
23. New York has an enormous, intricate, historically significant subway system. Los Angeles has a plastic model train.
24. Honesty. In New York, people will tell you if you look fat. In LA, they'll express "concern" over your "unhealthy lifestyle."
25. New York is one city easily divided into five self-contained subsections. Los Angeles, confusingly, has cities (West Hollywood, Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, maybe others?) contained within its city limits that are surrounded on all sides by Los Angeles proper. It's as if Harlem, Midtown West and the East Village were separate cities—with separate laws and rules—from the rest of Manhattan. It's weird and bad, and obviously a big problem when getting public-works projects done. And did we mention it's weird and bad?
26. The air-conditioning in our restaurants is set to "cool down a person," not "freeze a woolly mammoth inside a glacier for 10,000 years."
27. New York is the country's fashion capital. You see New Yorkers on the street every day out-glamming LA's laid-back look, and check the difference between our red carpets! The Met Gala beats the Oscars every time.
28. Walking down the street in New York gives you a sense of cultural history. Walking down the street in LA gives you asthma.
29. We know how to use avocados in moderation (seriously Angelenos, they do not go with everything).
30. NYC has Broadway, Off Broadway, Off-Off Broadway, Lincoln Center, Museum Mile and more than 200 galleries in Chelsea alone. Meanwhile, LA's most prestigious concert hall is named after the creator of Donald Duck.
31. Our stereotypes can totally beat up your stereotypes.
sad list of exaggerations. is that the best you can do?
i agree with doug m below. i spend on average 30 minutes a day in my nice, clean, fragrant, air conditioned car. so much better than the dried piss smelling, rat-infested, carcinogenic, beggar and panhandler filled, crowded, sweaty subways you call mass transit.
quality of living? l.a. beats nyc in a new york minute.
1. Better my car than underground or a smelly bus, 2. Neither do we, 3. Wait, that's a GOOD thing??, 4. Madonna who? Boy, you're old! 5. "What do I have to look forward to?" the NEXT DAY! 6. Korean? Thai? Doubtful. 7. You ARE old! There haven't been "dense layers of smog" in LA for over 20 years! And you still have exhaust fumes. 8. I've been to Times Square. Some of those guys need more than Botox! 9. You are bragging about getting drunk? Ok, fine. 10. No one here, either. Have you NEVER been here??! 11. Ah, overpriced AND small portions. Living the dream. 12. Hey, Brooklyn! I got your Dodgers right here! [Ok, that is dated, but I KNOW they still haven't gotten over it.]. 13. You are bragging that there are no celebrities in New York?? Ok, fine... 14. Yes, here too. Wait, was that a Scientology crack? Ohh, you are in SO much trouble. 15. You are saying it's easy to get lost in NY and that's a good thing? Surrrrre it is . . . 16. LOVE Mulholland! What is your PROBLEM? 17. Here neither. At least it's never happened to me. 18. That's because you don't drive cars. That mass transit you are so fond of. 19. If a New Yorker is writing a script, they SHOULD keep it to themselves. 20. That's only in a small part of an LA suburb (Irwindale). And they are whiners. 21. I've seen NY streets. It's perpetual gridlock, despite no one driving (how do they do that? Oh yeah, the cabs!). 22. The NY quote is rude and arrogant. It fits. 23. Subways are for cities where people can't drive. 24. Yes, see "rude" above. Keeping it real, huh? 25. I think Uptown, downtown, Soho, "the Village" are weird and bad as geographical markers. Probably subjective. 26. In other words, ours works, yours doesn't. How's that coal-fired heater doing? 27. The Met what? Never heard of it. Check out the Oscars, Emmys and Grammys. Add up those ratings, count the celebs. Nuff said. 28. What culture? Poverty? And the asthma ref is SO 1960. 29. Avos rule! 30. Oh, "live" theater. So 19th Century. Though some of the better stage actors do make it in Hollywood, I suppose. 31. Hey man, peace, love, dope. Whatevs. Totes.
1-true, 2-lies, 3-is that supposed to be good?, 4-i've never seen madonna in either, 5-thats why i left, 6-except avocados :P, 7-that coughing is from the weed, 8-true, 9-true but that encourages too much drinking, 10-how old is this list? no one does that anymore, 11-okay, but they're way more expensive. i don't think this persons actually been to LA.. they eat, 12- true. i miss brooklyn, 13- again, how old is this?, 14- i'll get back to you on that one, 15-true but good luck getting back after that meandering, 16- mulholland drive is beautiful!, 17- i work in entertainment (they do that to you until you're union), 18- yeah, the restriction is "tow" unless you're in brooklyn or queens, 19- true, 20-i don't eat that stuff but it's made in CA, so you're welcome?, 21-true. but time square? just as bad., 22- just don't live in hollywood and avoid the powderpuffs, 24-true. this is what i miss most about NY, 24-isn't it better that they concern themselves with everything and not just the outcome?, 25-it's because LA is big and spread out, it helps us navigate, but its confusing and weird, 26- i think that depends on the restaurant, 27- true. i studied fashion in NY, people in LA can't dress well for anything unless its an EDM rave, 28- it actually just gets you dirty looks unless you wear workout gear. people here don't understand walking, 29- that's because in NY avocados taste like poop, 30- you just named theater venues and then compared them to a concert hall. you're an idiot. pantages, the orpheum, pasadena playhouse, etc. google them., 31- but we look better doing it?
While a couple of these are true, this is just a rehashing of the same old tired stereotypes, written by people who do not know the first thing about Los Angeles. Try actually living here before writing this nonsense.