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31 things you will definitely see during hot New York weather

New York weather is ridiculous, especially in the summer. Here’s your guide to what to expect.

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1. The tip of some guy’s penis sticking out the bottom of his ludicrously tiny shorts as he sits spread-legged on the subway.

2. People getting to Rockaway and realizing that they don’t actually own any real beach clothes.

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3. Moms kicking their teenage kids out of the apartment for the day.

4. The person who sat in Central Park all day without any sunblock…

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5. …but thanks you for pointing out that they have “maybe caught some sun.”

6. People who are both younger than you and having a much better summer. Fuckers.

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7. The person who’s been convinced to watch a tennis match, and isn’t sure how that happened.

8. Old men in third-floor windows, staring out from behind their drapes at all the hot young girls in summer dresses.

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9. That guy who’s trying to eat healthily so he can fit into his skinny jeans, and failing.

10. People who spent two hours getting to the beach, then realized they had tickets to a 7PM show that they bought months ago and forgot all about.

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