1. The tip of some guy’s penis sticking out the bottom of his ludicrously tiny shorts as he sits spread-legged on the subway.
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2. People getting to Rockaway and realizing that they don’t actually own any real beach clothes.
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3. Moms kicking their teenage kids out of the apartment for the day.
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4. The person who sat in Central Park all day without any sunblock…
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5. …but thanks you for pointing out that they have “maybe caught some sun.”
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6. People who are both younger than you and having a much better summer. Fuckers.
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7. The person who’s been convinced to watch a tennis match, and isn’t sure how that happened.
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8. Old men in third-floor windows, staring out from behind their drapes at all the hot young girls in summer dresses.
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9. That guy who’s trying to eat healthily so he can fit into his skinny jeans, and failing.
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10. People who spent two hours getting to the beach, then realized they had tickets to a 7PM show that they bought months ago and forgot all about.
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