This is clearly not written by a real new yorker. I didn't come here after college because it was gritty and urban. I was born and raised here, gained my undergrad, masters degree, and opened up a business here. Real NYers understand the small business struggle and pay cash, they give their fellow NYers time to help them with directions, we're gruff but polite and always say excuse me, have families and have raised their kids here (and yes sent them to public school). New yorkers understand community, say hi to their neighbors in the morning, have block parties, and aren't uniformist, urban outfitter, ironic beard wearing hipsters who came here when their trust fund became available.
We don't watch girls, some of us were born in Williamsburg, and some (not me) really loved Mark Sanchez. Maybe this writer should venture out into Gerritsen Beach, Brighton Beach, Jackson Heights, and other neighborhood's. Maybe the should take strolls down Austin St, Arthur Ave, or the less traveled Veterans Ave in Brooklyn. Hang out at Jimmy Max in westerleigh, visit bullseye pub on Quentin Road, get away from your zagat guide, yelp reviews, rake off your knit hat and see the real NY.
I'm envisioning a conference room full of interns, dining on Dominos Pizza & Pabst Blue, as they author this article. A cheer is raised after wrapping up w/ this list, where upon the leader says: "OK, that's 8 cities down... Now, on to the Pittsburgh list". Yeesh
Although not born in NY, I pretty much grew up in NY (but
moved away for 10 years, then returned).Some items on this list are true, but some items on this list are
ridiculously biased.According to some
of the items on this list, you are not a New Yorker if you are a nutritionist
or health conscious; if you are wealthy; if you are spiritual, humanitarian, or
Christian; if you like Christian athletes; if traditional family values are
important to you; if you don’t have cable, don’t watch TV and don’t watch
certain types of films; and if you have a good sense of money and personal
My observation: Tourists wait for the crossing light, people who've been here often or awhile wait for the lull in traffic, New Yorkers don't wait for anything...then cuss out the cab driver who had the light.
New Yorkers: The reason why some of the items on this list is funny, and you're all pissy about it, is because it's true. You won't hear a New Yorker say "Excuse me."
#14 could cause such harm to innocent animals. These horses are well
cared for and contribute happiness so so many. deBlasio's desire to ban
them is all about wanting to build high rises where the stables are, not
to to animal "abuse" as there is none. These horses would likely go to slaughter if there were a ban. Nothing to joke about.
PS If you've lived in New York for over 11 years then you can
actually consider yourself a New Yorker and only then, if you've been to
all five boroughs-if not, then more lists like this will continue to be
blithely written. eg: 48 hours in new york
"After a long, tough day at the office, along with the daily brutality that is simply living in NYC, I really hope a bunch of teens get on a train, turn on some loud music and do striptease-style "dancing" that uses the poles while yelling "SHOWTIME!" over and over. I really REALLY hope to have feet swinging and kicking a foot away from my face! I also can't wait for them to guilt me into giving them money for the privilege of them breaking the law by doing something no one ever ever asked them to do."
This list sounds like it was written by a tourist trying to be a "real" NY'ker. Maybe they wrote it while waiting in line for a Cronut. O.o
Stupid list written by a team of people who have never lived in an outer borough. Example, the "lets go to Staten Island" crack -- many real NY'ers either live on Staten Island or visit relatives there. Or "I can't wait to settle down and have kids" -- means it's a list written by/for single people who have transplanted to NY and are living in an apartment in Manhattan.
Ra E - sorry, 11 years is pretty insignificant; you'll never be a New Yorker, especially with all of your CAPITALIZED "words." Btw, did you mean "WRECK" and "NATIVE?" Wreak is a verb, and I haven't seen a "nativity" since Christmas. Where are you from? I'm guessing Ohio.
Totally agree with #14 -- Horses don't belong on city streets. They look miserable.
#14 could cause such harm to innocent animals. These horses are well cared for and contribute happiness so so many. deBlasio's desire to ban them is all about wanting to build high rises where the stables are, not to to animal "abuse" as there is none. These horses would likely go to slaughter if there were a ban. Nothing to joke about.
Most of these are good & funny, but seriously -- #14 is totally off the mark. Bill de Blasio's idea of banning the carriage horses is idiotic. His bull-headed refusal to even consider the evidence regarding how the horses are treated is offensive to all *real* New Yorkers.
great article, had such a laugh reading and thought all 70 were spot on!
I think that the "Time Out Contributor" for #14 was probably Allie Feldman or NYCLASS. They obviously haven't been listening to REAL New Yorkers, who have been clamoring for the horses to stay, have been giving the carriages thumbs up and have been decrying Bill de Blasio's irrational campaign to ban carriage horses. (Who are we to trust a Red Sox fan anyway?)
@Arthur L Ditto CaveJohnson's reply. I'm born-n-raised NYC, but some of us leave the 5 boroughs, once in a while. Yeah, we refer to individual lines ("the 2", "the R"), but in general, its "the subway" -- as opposed to: the PATH, the train (LIRR, Metro-North, NJTransit) and Amtrak.
@Kamal W Well, yeah. That's one of the few that makes sense. New Yorkers, New York CITY New Yorkers, are Yankees fans. Rabid, Yankees fans. If you like the Mets, you're from upstate.
That's one of the ways you tell the difference.
@otterokc The obligatory "you're not a real New Yorker" comment. Thank you, otterokc, for being the only REAL New Yorker in the world. If this comment is any indication of your literary abilities, we're all super psyched to read your list of REAL 70 things that New Yorkers would never say so we can put it in the Smithsonian.
Another one: "I'm ready to admit I should have never moved to Brooklyn" could only be written by someone from out of town to begin with. If you're from Queens, SI, Manhattan or the Bronx, you'd never even think you'd moved someplace different if you moved to Brooklyn, it's just another borough, and if you grew up in Brooklyn the statement doesn't make sense.
If you hear someone on the streets of NYC say any of the following phrases, you know they must be from out of town."
Which non native NY'er aka Time Out contributor saw it fit to write an absurd list that can only be associated by everything that is NOT New York?
I am a NATIVE and this REEKS of the Midwest all dressed up in overprinted florals and BROWN POINTY shoes walking down Fifth Avenue and 21st street, pondering the next Buzzfeed survey; thinking that in fact, since moving to NY in 2009, one is capable of generating a list of SEVENTY items that appear to give a 'GLIMPSE' from who is 'OUT OF TOWN.'
Utterly pathetic and more so telling of the need to validate oneself as a NY'er. I am SO SURE not even one of the 'contributors' to this list is actually from NY or even knows someone by proxy.
A list of 70 apparent socioeconomic and stereotypically dimmed observations (kinda NY-so THAT might fit) do not make you a NY'er, only a FOOL would approach the thought.
A Brooklyn Nativity
PS If you've lived in New York for over 11 years then you can actually consider yourself a New Yorker and only then, if you've been to all five boroughs-if not, then more lists like this will continue to be blithely written.
@Mimi T They are not miserable. A fit working horse doing a job well withing his capability is a happy horse. He knows he will be fed, groomed, and fussed over when he gets back to the stable. Can you honesty look at a horse and tell what he's thinking? They are quite impassive, not like dogs, who may appear animated. Real horses do not look like horses in the movies, just like most people don't look like movie stars.
@Ruth M I wonder what percent of New Yorkers will ever take a carriage ride. I estimate that 98% of all rides are by a very small percentage of tourists.We don't need a ban but we do need a compromise.
@Mimi T Who cares if the horse is happy. He smells like a horse. He doesn't belong on the streets of Manhattan. He belongs on a farm. We don't have other farm animals running around the streets. You don't see chickens, or pigs running around, why should we have to smell these smelly horses. It's disgusting.
@SuperWittySmitty@Ruth M I don't know when they started engaging with Traffic. I thought they were only to be ridden in Parks. That should be the compromise, Only in Central Park and a Horse specific Lanes to take them out to the West Side where the stable are...
@SuperWittySmitty@Ruth M98@ of all people who go to the top of the Empire State Building are also tourists, but I don't see DeBlasio clamoring to tear the building down. And here I thought tourism was good for New York.