Uqls End Of Semester Drinks

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University of Queensland Law Society - UQLS says
IN RE A LAW STUDENT [2016] UQLS 69

[1] The plaintiff is a student of the University of Queensland. She seeks urgent relief, alleging massive emotional and mental abuse inflicted by the abovementioned university continuing from the period February to June 2016.


FACTS

[2] Through a series of blundering, largely regrettable decisions, the plaintiff came to undertake undergraduate studies in law.

[3] Having failed the previous semester to prudently and effectively maintain regular study, early this year the plaintiff made an undertaking to herself to attend all classes, keep clear notes and learn content as it was taught throughout semester.

[4] The enterprise was wholly unsuccessful.

[5] Upon the arrival of SWOTVAC, the plaintiff was forced to cram unfathomable amounts of content, to the substantial detriment of her psychological wellbeing.


DAMAGE

[6] The evidence unquestionably demonstrates the occasioning of serious harm to the plaintiff. This is shown, inter alia, by:
- the depletion of her personal relationships
- the deterioration in her levels of hygiene (notably a pungent, lingering B.O.)
- the wholesale absence of physical activity, the commute between house and library not included


STANDING

[7] As a holder of an ‘L Card’, a popular student discount card widely regarded as Australia’s finest, the plaintiff has demonstrated entitlement to relief.


FORM OF RELIEF

[8] Following the precedents of Re Law Ball and Ex parte Pub Crawl¸ the plaintiff is entitled to the following relief:
- as many drinks as her arms can carry; conditional upon her attendance at the UQLS End of Semester Drinks, to be held at the Fox, from 12:30pm on Sunday June 26, 2016.

[9] Costs shall follow the event.
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By: University of Queensland Law Society - UQLS