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When I was in high school, I remember 5FM throwing these Love Sucks parties around the country on Valentine’s Day. I desperately wanted to go, but I was underage.
What stuck with me was that it was the first time a community gave the establishment the middle finger. It was a call to arms, so to speak. Rather than celebrating the Day of Love, single folks were encouraged to rage against the machine and embrace solo rather than being tethered to another.
It’s kind of liberating, isn’t it? Saying, “Hell no” to a day that represents the capitalist take on how romantic love is meant to be illustrated. Now that I’m older, wiser, and yes, married, I still don’t get the hype behind Valentine’s Day.
But here’s the thing: Love can be a laugh with friends, a sweaty boxing class, a ridiculous comedy show, a solo date, or a quiet meal with someone you really like.
So, whether you’re proudly anti-Valentine’s Day, romantically inclined but budget-conscious, or somewhere in between “love is dead” and “fine, I’ll go out,” you'll find something on this list to pique your interest. Also, this year, February 14 falls on a Saturday, so we’re in for a few goodies.
WIN: Enter our amazing Valentine's Day competition to win an overnight stay valued at about R4,500 - scroll down for full details.
Brandon October - Crazy Little Thing Called Love
- 7pm
- Venue: Drostdy Theatre, Cnr Alexander St & Bird St, Stellenbosch
- Cost: R260, bookings via Web Tickets
Can you imagine the story you’ll tell your grandchildren? “We went to a show, and she gazed at me while Brandon sang Never Tear Us Apart. Right there. I knew right there she was the one.” How I Met Your Mother, Cape Town style!
The Lover's Table
The name says it all. The Pullman Hotel is pulling out all the love-drunk stops with this specially curated five-course set menu. Arrive for your celebration of love to a welcome drink and live music. Enjoy various courses that include a rack of lamb, or wild mushroom and truffle risotto, all set to the backdrop of live music. Booking ahead is recommended, as seating is limited.
- Time: 6:30PM for 7:00PM
- Venue: Stratus Room Restaurant, The Pullman
- Cost: R1 000 per person | Vegetarian Menu - R850 per person
- Book: Pullman.CTCC.reservations@accor.com
Valentine’s Movie Night
- Time: 6pm till late
- Venue: The President Hotel, 4 Alexander Road, Bantry Bay
- Cost: R895 per person, bookings via website
A combined sunset dinner and open-air silent cinema experience is on the cards at the President Hotel. The occasion starts with a 6pm dinner, followed by a screening of About Time at 8:30pm. Wireless headphones and loungers invite you to an immersive viewing under the evening sky.
Valentine’s Skate Date
- 10am - 9pm
- Venue: Rollercade Table Bay Mall,r27 Berkshire Boulevard, Sunningdale
- Cost: R300, bookings via Web Tickets
This actually sounds like fun. The Hallmark movie ending kinda fun. And how cute is this? The two-hour session includes a slushy each and share popcorn. You and your crush can roll off into the sunset.
Nina Hastie’s TANGENTS
- 7:30pm - 9:30pm
- Venue: Ground Culture Cafe, Shop 5, 170 Lower Main Rd, Observatory
- Cost: From R180, bookings via Quicket
Laughter is the best medicine for a broken heart. Fortunately, you don’t have to be nursing a broken heart to catch Nina Hastie’s brand-new stand-up comedy show, TANGENTS. Hastie tackles ADHD side-quests, romantic misadventures, identity crises, family drama, bad decisions, and worse decisions. She’s basically speaking to all of us. We are Nina Hastie.
The Lady Aoi
- 3pm
- Venue: Artscape, Arena, The Foreshore, Cape Town CBD
- Cost: R150 - R230, bookings via Web Tickets
If you thrive on drama, but not the relationship kind, Yukio Mishima’s The Lady Aoi will have you bawling your eyes out. The acclaimed modern Noh play is hauntingly beautiful and emotionally intense. Bring tissues. Lots of them.
Valentine’s Day Singles Party
- 2pm - 10pm
- Venue: Grand Daddy Boutique Hotel, 38 Long St, Cape Town CBD
- Cost: From R100, bookings via Quicket
It’s always a bit suspect when a singles party has Valentine’s Day in its title. So proceed with caution. Grand Daddy will host a high-energy Rooftop Singles Party with great music, easy conversation, and enviable city views. You get a welcome drink on arrival, and if the mood takes you, shoot your shot with other singles at the party.
Release & Punch: A Galantines Workout
- 9am - 10am
- Venue: SN Boxing Edgemead, Unit 13, Link Way, Edgemead
- Cost: From R250, bookings via Quicket
Now we’re talking! Punching something (someone) releases endorphins, and I’m here for it. Join Release Through Pilates x Coach Candy for a feel-good Pilates & Boxing Galentine’s Experience. The schedule entails Pilates, boxing, and social and chill time. Bring your bestie and say it’s a form of rage therapy.
Galantine’s Dinner
- 5pm - 8pm
- Venue: Si Cantina Sociale, 5A1 Silo District, Victoria & Alfred Waterfront
- Cost: From R350, bookings via Quicket
Hosted by Chef Asi Ndamase and Athi the Chef, Galentine’s Dinner is a three-course dining experience that celebrates connection in all its forms. Whether it’s friendship, self-love, romance, or community, it’s about showing up and sharing stories.
Time Out Tip: While you’re on that side of the world, pop into Time Out Market Cape Town for an after-dinner mint or two.
Falace in Wonderland
- 8:30pm - 10pm
- Venue: Kalk Bay Theatre, 71a Main Rd, Kalk Bay
- Cost: From R280, bookings via Quicket
Invite your friend along, you know the one with the potty mouth who likes d*$k jokes? Falace in Wonderland invites you to follow Alice as she stumbles down the rabbit hole of modern online dating. The comedy-driven musical journey is packed with wit, heart, and lots of naughty interaction.
Well, there you have it, guys; a roundup of the Mother City’s anti and loved-up Valentine’s Day events.
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