Charlotte (Ryder) has upped sticks eighteen times in her young life, and she's hoping to settle down with her mother and sister in Eastport, MA. Their new house borders a convent, allowing the Jewish teen to indulge in fantasies about handyman Joe (Schoeffling) and, perversely, about life as a nun. Loopy Mom (Cher) has neglected to tell her daughter about the facts of life, leaving Charlotte stranded between desire and fears of pregnancy. This self-conscious, eccentric comedy is set in 1963, a year which sees Charlotte's innocence fade in the wake of both sexual discovery and Kennedy's assassination. The film is burdened by curious details and observations, and its preoccupation with all things aquatic (little sister is an ace swimmer, Mom dresses up as a mermaid for New Year's Eve, etc) is overworked. Characterisation suffers, with Charlotte and her mother too self-absorbed to engage our sympathies. Crucially, they just aren't funny.