Coming from any other place in the world, adapting to the 'unique' nature of an Israeli office can be difficult. They play by a completely different set of rules. To help you understand the complex system, here are some phrases that you'll never hear uttered in the Tel Aviv workplace:
1. "Wow, that 'mazgan' (air conditioner) is at the perfect temperature."
2. "I just love coming early to meetings. It gives me extra time to prepare my PowerPoint presentation."
3. "Another birthday? Shucks, that means I have to miss an hour of work to mingle and eat free cake."
4. "What a treat to find week-old leftovers in the back of the fridge. It's like discovering rogue marshmallows at the bottom of the Lucky Charms box."
5. "How are you?"
"Not hungover."
6. "Who needs a thirty-minute lunch break? I'd rather work through lunch."
7. "Not another 'Yom Kef' (aka day at the beach)! I was planning on being productive today."
8. "Wow, it's incredible. There are so many squeaky clean glasses and coffee mugs in the kitchen all the time."
9. "You can never have too many pens lying around."
10. "Formal Friday? My favorite."
11. "Communal work spaces are the bomb.com."
12. "No one in this office is ever pregnant."
13. "The internet here is sooo fast."
14. "Maybe one day I'll bring my kids to work."
15. "It's so quiet, I love that no one ever raises their voice here."
16. "I can't reschedule my gynecologist appointment on speaker phone in the middle of a meeting...that's just plain rude."
17. "Salaries are so generous in this country, I can retire next year and buy a timeshare in Eilat."
18. "Darn, I have to leave my flip flops at home."
19. "If only I could wear shorts in the office..."
20. "I definitely can't talk about sex, drugs, or that fetish party I went to last weekend with my colleagues."
21. "9:00 a.m. Time to clock in."
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