Drunken Review: pink walls and face-first falls at Tutus Karex

Written by
Noa Bonné
Noa Bonné heads to Tutus Karex for a Gin-laced night of slushies, cheese fries and 'parkour'.
The Foggy Effect:
To celebrate my friend’s return to Israel from New York, I got rid of a third of my salary by buying an expensive bottle of Bombay Gin. After some G&Ts that were mostly (actually just) gin, we were on our way to Tutus Karex. The alcohol struck fast and I almost puked behind a garbage bin before entering, while Amber thought she could 'parkour' her way to the bar and fell flat on her face.
Tutu Karex
Tutus Karex is known for its musical variety, but it has a sweet spot for hip hop and Arabic music. When we were there, Atar Miner, a known DJ and producer, was in charge of the playlist. He was fantastic and created the perfect balance between beat and Arabic music. Unfortunately, the dance floor was empty besides a drunken couple making out (or perhaps it was empty because of the drunken couple making out).
Lying Around:
If you're facing the bar, there's a hidden corner on your left (actually it’s not that secret, people just don’t think about laying there). I’m talking about the only sofa at the bar that made me push a helpless girl out of the way while screaming, "I need this seat more than you do".
The service at the Tutux is dually divided like one of those before and after pictures you find on infomercials for diet pills.
Before the place is packed: the service is excellent and kind (as there are few places where you can shout to the waiter, “Hey kid! Kid come here! Bring me your top shelf Campari!”, and he’s cool with it).
After the place is packed: the service is still excellent and kind – but the drinks took longer to get to our thirsty hands.
After a long ping-pong game of “No no no I swear to drunk I'm not God anymore,” we ordered passion fruit and apple slushies (syrup, Midori and a whole lot of vodka). The slushies were sweet, but not in a nauseating way. After that, we got the Lemon-Ginger-Honey (Honey Jack Daniels, Becherovka, lemon juice, ginger syrup), which sounded really appealing, but the taste wasn’t for me. The winner of the cocktail game was the French 75 (Bombay, cava, cherry syrup, lemon juice, lemon peel and amarena cherries).
Tutu Karex is a neighborhood bar with a great design and a 'family vibe' (just don't bring your kids to cramp your style...and mine). The people who work and come here are Tel Avivian in spirit; most are regulars and friends with the staff and owners. The place is filled with sharing tables, but if you don’t want to be a part of the family just yet, there are special seats where you can find some privacy.
Tutu Karex atmosphere
Smoking :
Smoking is permitted outside.
When it came to a point, I couldn’t help it any longer. I ran to the bathroom yelling at the bartender, “It’s all your fault you piece of shit”...he gave me that "I told you so" look. I sat on the cold floor charmed by the pink walls while I was puking my ass off. The stall was clean so it made me feel better about the fact that I was splayed out on the floor.
Tutu Karex
French fries with cheddar cheese. Yes and again, yes.
In Conclusion:
Despite the fact that I don’t like mingling and I lived up to my amazing  ability to embarrass myself every time I drink, I admit it is fun to be at a living dynamic bar. I’m not so sure that those looking to pick-up will find themselves here, but if you're looking for a cool hangout with friends, Tutu Karex is the spot.
Tutu Karex bathroom
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