Top five worst sounds in Tel Aviv

Written by
Jennifer Greenberg

1. Car horns

Within a week of living in Tel Aviv, you'll wonder whether there is some universal twitch that causes Israelis to honk their car horns at every traffic light, stop sign, intersection, biker, and pedestrian on. The. Planet. While at first, the incessant noise takes the cake on worst sounds in the city, based on pure frequency alone, you'll learn to drown it out quite quickly.

2. Whatsapp notifications

To match their hipster appearance, complete with a strong desire to do everything contrary to the mainstream, Tel Avivians have even found a way to reject the ever-so-common text message: Whatsapp. Just because you've found a new outlet, does not mean you should crank the volume on your phone up to full capacity so that everyone in the office knows that he "texted you back." Your coworkers get it, you're popular, it's cool. Now turn your phone to silent or vibrate (perfect for both business and pleasure purposes) before it 'accidentally' falls off your desk and into the garbage when you go to the bathroom.

3. American accents

There's nothing wrong with Americans per se; they maintain the booming Carmel Market economy and keep words like 'sachi' alive. However, like Hakosem's fried sabich, which tastes delicious but repeats on you like a Static and Ben El song, they have one fault: an absolute inability to conceptualize a little something called "volume control." Americans thrive in numbers and are often spotted in large groups (i.e. Birthright globs), thereby elevating their shrillness to levels so ear-piercing, you'll seriously consider cutting off your own ear, Van Gogh style.

4. Stray cats

Ever wonder where the term "cat fight" comes from? Spend one night in a ground-level studio apartment with the windows open and one of life's greatest questions will be answered. Who needs an alarm clock when you can wake up to the daily purring, crying, scratching, kitty fight club just outside your window. "Sufferin' succotash!"

5. Money disappearing

We've all experienced that sinking feeling in the pit of our stomachs, when you crack out your wallet to pick up the bar tab and its completely empty. You scrounge in the bottom of your purse because you hear the winds of change picking up. Instead, you are welcomed by the jingle of 'agorot' (pennies), a constant reminder that there was once tangible money in there, recently replaced by empty promise and regrets.

By Jennifer Greenberg, who's still searching for that loose change.

Take a look at the top five people on an El-Al Flight.

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