Get your dog ready. Put your headphones on. Start video chatting your cousin. Light a cigarette. Pop open a Goldstar. Forget your helmet. Doing all of these things simultaneously? Great, you’re ready to ride!
Sharing is Caring
Don’t worry about the sprinting toddler you clipped, the leashless dog you hopped over, the confused tourists you muscled past, or the electric scooter riders laughing as they overtook you. Whatever you do, just don’t stop. Or, on second thought, stop – a lot!
Tel Aviv © Shutterstock
What Hand Signals?
Want a driver to know you’re taking a left? No prob. Cut right in front of him, and when he beeps incessantly at you, act like you didn’t see him. Then when he tries running you off the road, speak only English. If he speaks English, switch to Spanish or French. Congrats – you’ve just successfully turned left!
I’m Confused...
Did we say there were plenty of bike lanes? If worn out paint stripes that pedestrians give no credence, on-street pathways blocked from double-parked cars, or lanes which stop randomly for half a block or more before picking up again are considered bike lanes, then sure, there’s lots of bike lanes.
© Shutterstock
Jungian Peddling
No lane? No worries! Choose either the sidewalk or the street, but beware of encountering some of the mythological Tel Aviv biker enemies: stroller-pushing tigermoms, cane-as-weapon saftas, Taglit-tour-groups on-Rothschild, policeman-handing-out-insanely random- tickets, or any-and-all tus-tuses and cabbies assaulting your precious eardrums with their non-stop honking.
Soak in the Sun
Sick of the stress of biking in Tel Aviv? Take your wheels to the Tayelet boardwalk where you can ride along the water. Dismount to watch the sunset, but don’t miss the reality show going on behind you, where a bike thief is pedaling your wheels off into the sunset.
© Shutterstock