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I couldn’t care less about ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’

It’s set to break box-office records, but some people couldn’t give a Wookiee about Star Wars. We tracked down six of this rare species

In one week’s time, people will be flocking to see ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ on the big screen. After years of hype and months of rumours, movie-goers will march to cinemas in their millions. Here at Time Out, it’s fair to say we’re overly excited about the film. Well, most of us are… We discovered a handful of colleagues who couldn’t give a C-3P0 about JJ Abrams’s reboot. We interviewed these sad souls shortly before they went into hiding.

RECOMMENDED: Read our complete guide to ‘Star Wars’

‘Star Wars is for kids’

‘Star Wars is for kids’

Name: James Manning
Job: Deputy Music & Nightlife Editor
Ever seen a Star Wars film? All six.
How excited are you about ‘The Force Awakens’? Literally zero. Star Wars is for kids.

Do you know what a Wookiee is? Chewbacca was my favourite! As a kid…

What will you be doing instead? Getting smashed at a record label Christmas party, and waiting for JJ Abrams to get his shit together and make another ‘Star Trek’ movie.

'I can't wait for everyone to stop going on about it’

'I can't wait for everyone to stop going on about it’

Name: Izzy Aron
Job: Blog Writer
Ever seen a Star Wars film?
Er, once. When I was a kid I was dragged along to see a Star Wars film for my brother’s birthday. I’m not sure which one it was – one of the ones with roman numerals in the title?
How excited are you about ‘The Force Awakens’? On a scale of one to ten, I’m going to say two – because I’m not bothered about the film but I'm excited because it means everyone else will stop going on about it.
Do you know what a Wookiee is? Some kind of yeti? It’s furry and brown – that’s the extent of my knowledge.
What will you be doing instead? Probably out, y’know, having a life.

'Don't get me started on that fish-man’

'Don't get me started on that fish-man’

Name: Jonathan Cook
Job: Digital Content Producer
Ever seen a Star Wars film? My worst ever Christmas Day was spent in a shabby small-state motel in mid-‘90s America being forced to watch all three of the original films by my US cousin. And don't get me started on ‘The Phantom Menace’ and that ridiculous animated patois-spouting fish-man-thing.
How excited are you about 'The Force Awakens'? Not at all. I’d be excited about a new Ewok movie, though.
Do you know what a Wookiee is? Yes – the seven-foot-tall furry man that moans like a baby all the fucking time. And his fur doesn't even look real!
What will you be doing instead? Watching something better at home – most likely ‘Great British Bake Off’ re-runs. Ten hours of that will be bliss – compared to ten hours of Star Wars in a shabby small-state motel with an overenthusiastic American cousin, at least.

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‘Is a Wookiee that hairy monster thing?’

‘Is a Wookiee that hairy monster thing?’

Name: Matilda Egere-Cooper
Job: Blog Network Manager
Ever seen a Star Wars film? I’ve seen bits whenever they’ve come on TV, but I couldn’t tell you what I was watching – and to be honest, I’ve never been inspired to find out.
How excited are you about ‘The Force Awakens’? As excited as I am about the bits I’ve accidentally watched. It’s just not my thing.
Do you know what a Wookiee is? Is it that hairy monster thing?
What will you be doing instead? Probably watching something on Netflix.

‘It's just one guy telling another guy "I am your father"’

‘It's just one guy telling another guy "I am your father"’

Name: Kate Lloyd
Job: Digital Staff Writer
Ever seen a Star Wars film? Yes, forcibly, on a really boring Boxing Day. But all I remember is one guy telling another guy ‘I am your father’ and loads of spaceships.
How excited are you about ‘The Force Awakens’? I would rather watch a blank screen for two hours.
Do you know what a Wookiee is? It looks a bit like a gorilla.
What will you be doing instead? Having a life?

‘I get more excited about Kate Middleton’

‘I get more excited about Kate Middleton’

Name: Miriam Bouteba
Job: Acting Style Editor, Time Out
Ever seen a Star Wars film? Nope, never.
How excited are you about ‘The Force Awakens’? As excited as I get by Kate Middleton’s sartorial choices. Not very.
Do you know what a Wookiee is? A wheat-free cookie?
What will you be doing instead? Drinking mulled wine with a riotous gaggle of girls.

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By: Tom Huddleston

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