Set somewhere in a timeless Martini-land, The Greek Tycoon is an everyday love story of a shipping magnate and an assassinated president's widow - a sort of Harold Robbins out of TitBits tabloid biopic. Quinn's ageing Zorba is certainly no Citizen Kane, and Bisset's contribution rarely veers beyond the soulful pose, but it matters hardly a jot to a publicly rehearsed, pre-sold jet-set jamboree. Upmarket exploitation pics tend to make it (ie. profit) on the merest smell of money, sex and scandal, and this effort just reeks. Trashy it may be (though classily trashy, on a $6 million budget); vulgar it ain't - the Tomasis and the Cassidys are at bottom really ordinary, unhappy folks who just happen to have untold wealth and power. Your sympathy is earnestly solicited; it would be better spent on anyone tempted to sit through this glossy travesty.