The Legend of Billie Jean

When brainless jocks vandalise young Binx's scooter, he and his sister Billie Jean (Helen 'Supergirl' Slater) seek compensation from the father of the chief 'fucker'; but he (Bradford) is some mean bastard, and when he starts molesting BJ, Binx accidentally shoots him in the shoulder. Bro, Sis and a coupla chums take to the road, pursued by a paternal cop (Coyote), condemned by the media, and worshipped as upholders of justice by what seems to be the entire weeny and teeny population of Texas. Robbins co-wrote Spielberg's Sugarland Express, to which this bears more than a passing resemblance plotwise. But there similarities end. The sentimental elevation of BJ to legendary status ('She's everywhere') is ludicrously implausible, the characterisation cardboard and cute, the humour puerile, and the squandering of the considerable talents of Coyote and Bradford criminal. Four-letter words and gags about periods fail to disguise the adolescent wish-fulfilment quality of script and direction.