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Miami is a special place, and I say that with genuine love and simultaneous amusement. Maybe you’ve visited Miami every New Year’s Eve since your fake ID could get you into the clubs or maybe you’re a recent transplant from New York City capitalizing on our weather and lack of rules and think you know Miami. But unless you grew up in the 305, you may never really, truly GET IT.
What’s to get, you ask? While this seemingly self-explanatory life of daytime yacht parties and late-night VIP bottle-popping may seem pretty easy to grasp, there’s more to Miami than meets the eye. We’ve got quirky habits, language barriers and questionable fashion choices to boot—all of which you’d embrace too if you’re from here. So as an O.G. Miami gal, I’m here to break it down for you.
Some people are actually–wait for it–born and raised in Miami
And yes, we had normal childhoods that didn’t involve fist-bumping at LIV straight out of the womb…
Oh, and some of us are even gringas (GASP)!
Spanglish is the local language
So, escucha–if you’re smart, you’ll start learning some Spanish like, ahora mismo.
It’s totally normal to kiss a complete stranger on the cheek
Don’t get excited, we’re not hitting on you.
Miami people treat sporting events as an excuse to hit the club.
Because halftime at the Heat game feels like an appropriate time to pop bottles, right?
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Boozy brunch is a competitive sport.
If you didn’t boomerang your mimosa, did it even happen?
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The pool/beach often double as a free coworking space.
We swear we’re actually working…
Leather, fur and boots may come out to play at 70 degrees Fahrenheit.
Relaaax, we’re not wimps. We just need to show the neglected parts of our wardrobe some love. No shame in that.
We treat rules like suggestions.
Speed limit? Capacity at the club? We’ll definitely consider your recommendation and get back to you.
Your night literally never has to end.
Curfew? Last call? No entiendo.
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The detox/retox culture is real.
If your morning gym class doesn’t smell like Clase Azul tequila, you’re not doing it right.
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