A car accident caused by a swan outside Rotterdam Zoo leaves ex-Siamese twin brothers (Brian and Eric Deacon, the two noughts) widowers, so they take up with the driver, Alba Bewick (Ferreol), who had one leg amputated and is considering the other. Grief also propels them into investigations at the Zoo into death and decay. Then there is Van Meegeren, surgeon brother to the Vermeer forger, with designs on Alba's legs... As usual with Greenaway, the ideas are large, endless and perverse; and they are teased out with the exquisite formal perfection of a court minuet. Moreover he frames, colours, and shoots with a top dollar perfection (the camerawork is by Sacha Vierny). A film with all the cool, intellectual thrill of the Kasparov-Karpov game. CPea.