Bad Apples

Bad Apples opens with the chirruping of feathery creatures, but what follows is anything but birdsong. In this bleak comedy, Jonatan Etzler dreams up a nightmarish educational scenario: a teacher kidnapping a student on the eve of an Ofsted inspection. Absurdist plot twists follow, as well as an unexpected pivot into dark and unsettling terrain.

It follows Maria (Saoirse Ronan), a downtrodden teacher trying her best to connect with her ten-year-old pupils. The reigning brat of the class, Danny (Eddie Waller), places catastrophic strain on Maria’s personal and work life, pushing her to ever greater risks to keep him at arm’s length during school hours.

But then an after-school encounter with Danny turns violent. The meek Maria turns into an unassuming kidnapper, locking the kid in the basement, and a boisterous hostage scenario is soon unfolding. At night, Maria’s farming simulator game drowns out Danny’s basement tantrums; in the daytime, Maria is showered with praise when the school inspection is a success. With Danny being served pesto pasta in a harness fit for a large dog, it’s clear the situation is as dire as it is downright hilarious.

Saoirse Ronan is, as ever, the best thing here

As Maria and Danny enter a surrogate mother/son territory during their time in the basement, we get a glimpse of who Danny is behind the school-bully mask. The pair bond during their basement tutor sessions and shared video game banter – tender yet ludicrous moments, where you’d think they’ve forgotten one of them is being held hostage. This is Bad Apples’ thesis: we all share the innate desire to be seen. From teacher’s pet Pauline (Nia Brown) seeking praise she’ll never get, to Maria needing to prove herself to stern headteacher Sylvia (Rakie Ayola), and win back old flame Sam (Jacob Anderson), these characters yearn to be known. Jess O’Kane’s screenplay pushes at their rotten cores, revealing with each twist that even the most unassuming characters have hidden motives. Bad apples are commonplace in Maria’s life, and her peers’ morals are not as lofty as they appear.

Bad Apples is a lighter version of Etzler’s 2019 short film Get Ready With Me, a bleak satire of the student/teacher genre with an equally malicious child at its centre. This time, he ups the comedy and gets it just right. Though the bad apple motif is, at times, an overused metaphor, nothing else feels overdone. The satire is nicely judged, the wry wit lands in unexpected ways. And Ronan is, as ever, the best thing here.

In cinemas worldwide Sep 18.