Although written by ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ scribe Marti Noxon, this lifeless 3D remake of Tom Holland’s 1985 horror-comedy never matches the original’s creaky, camp charm. This time it’s suburban teenager Charlie Brewster (Anton Yelchin) who’s sceptical when his nerdy high school pal ‘Evil’ Ed (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) insists that Charlie’s handsome new neighbour, Jerry Dandridge (Colin Farrell) is a vampire. And Peter Vincent, the allegedly clued-up adult, from whom Charlie and Ed seek advice about crosses, garlic and holy water, has metamorphosed from Roddy McDowall’s ageing ex-horror movie actor-cum-TV host into a flamboyant, leather-clad Las Vegas magician – bizarrely played by David Tennant as if he’s channelling Russell Brand’s twin brother. Farrell is sexy as hell, so it’s easy to see why Charlie’s mother (Toni Collette) and his hitherto chaste girlfriend (Imogen Poots) fall under his spell. But this is a boring revamp, with dull 3D effects, insipid teenage protagonists and only sporadically scary outbursts of neck-biting, crucifix-wielding and staking through the heart.