If a list is ever compiled of the most embarrassing screen moments featuring otherwise talented actors, the scene a few minutes into ‘I, Frankenstein’ in which Miranda Otto announces, with a completely straight face, that she is Leonore, High Queen of the Gargoyle Order, must surely place somewhere near the top. But then, this excruciating 3D romp catching up with Mary Shelley’s literary creation 200 years after he first drew breath is little more than a long series of such nail-bitingly awful moments, haphazardly stitched together. Aaron Eckhart plays the title character (the monster, not the scientist, in case there’s any confusion), who becomes entangled in a war between the aforementioned sentient statuary (the goodies) and an army of hellspawn led by Bill Nighy’s demon prince Naberius (the baddies). Nothing about this works: the effects are dire, the mythology confused and idiotic, Aussie director Stuart Beattie’s direction is leaden-footed and the entire affair is devoid of humour (not that it isn’t funny, just not intentionally so). Death would’ve been kinder.