Keith Lemon: The Film

The barrel-scraping dash to bring TV comedy to the big screen sours considerably with this crude, unfunny film starring mahogany tanned, mulletted, mouth-breathing Keith Lemon, alter-ego of comedian Leigh Francis (‘Celebrity Juice’, ‘Bo' Selecta!’). The back-of-the-fag packet script sees failed businessman Keith catapulted into an instant fortune after sticking the picture of a lemon on the back of a mobile (like Apple, geddit?). There are 13 year-old boys (you’d hope) who’d squirm at how puerile this is: erection gags, penis enlargement jokes, plus some titty titters to stop it getting too phallic. The constellation of C-listers making cameos (Gary Barlow, Peter Andre, Jedward and a couple of lesser Spice Girls) makes the Olympic closing ceremony look like a meeting a of Pulitzer winners. Career lows all round, then? Except possibly for Kelly Brook, who’s had her fair share – here, as Keith’s new girlfriend, she fellates an asparagus tip.