Midgets vs Mascots

OK, so here goes. A dead midget porn star has left his inheritance to the winning team in a contest. This contest is between a group of midgets and a group of mascots – you know, the ones in animal costumes that appear at American Football games. The late Gary Coleman (Diff’rent Strokes) is among the little people, playing a version of himself suffering a variety of sexual and scatalogical indignities.

It might sound like a so-bad-it’s-good cult film, but no. ‘Midgets vs Mascots’ is an over-conceived, poorly-scripted mockumentary that fails to reach for the laughs even when they’re close at hand. The two teams travel the US insulting strangers and trying to get punched in bars but it’s clear that most passers-by are at least briefed, if not rehearsed. ‘Borat’ succeeded by exposing the prejudice of the public – this skips that opportunity entirely and focuses on set-up spats and shags.

The drunk or the stupid may find one or two moments amusing. But otherwise, this stands as a sad swansong to Coleman, who closes the film with the words, ‘I’m gonna bash my fists into my agent’s face right when I get back.' Well, quite.