My Blue Heaven

In this truly mind-numbingly awful movie, Steve Martin plays a mobster forced to move to San Diego from his New York stomping ground as part of a witness protection programme rap-beating deal. San Diego takes on the aura of some Pacific version of Milton Keynes: all little leagues, little boxes and little gardens, populated by so many of Martin's erstwhile criminal colleagues that life on the run turns into a nostalgic round of petty felonies and made-member hugs. Further dismay looms not only in co-star Rick Moranis' continuing obsession with misusing his talents by trying to play a straight man, but in the normally loveable Martin's gross and tedious portrayal of Mafia slobdom. If we must have parodies and comedies of crime, let them be funny, capisce?