The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

Three misfit waiters (Larry the Cucumber, Mr. Lunt and Pa Grape) happen upon a magic ball that zaps them into the middle of a 17th-century veggie war of succession. These reluctant heroes must stop the evil pirate Robert the Terrible as he seeks to supplant his beatific brother, the King, by holding the ripe monarch’s royal children hostage and thereby gaining the throne. Vaguely racist (the movie seems to imply Mexicans are lazy) and trumpeting the benefits of mediocrity, the film’s subtle Christian evangelism will surely help turn the wide-eyed youngsters of today into the confused, repressed parents of tomorrow.