"JANE, 28, athletic but sexy. A natural beauty. Most days she wears jeans, and she makes them look good."
JANE is not alone.
Movie producer Ross Putman—who wrote and produced 2012 film Trigger Finger—started a Twitter account on Tuesday where he has been tweeting verbatim (with the real names substituted for JANE) descriptions of female leads lifted directly from movie scripts.
His Twitter bio for @femscriptintros reads: "These are intros for female leads in actual scripts I read...Apologies if I quote your work."
So far Putman has tweeted 22 such intros and picked up 41,000 followers, plus write-ups in Slate, The Guardian and well, Time Out.
What do we learn about the ideally scripted woman from these scripts?
1. If JANE is over 30, it's surprising/great that she is attractive—but she will need soft lighting.
Across from him, his wife, JANE. Also 40, still a knockout. The soft candlelight makes her beauty glow.— Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 11, 2016
2. Men still describe non-flats as "fuck-me shoes".
JANE pours her gorgeous figure into a tight dress, slips into her stiletto-heeled fuck-me shoes, and checks herself in the dresser mirror.— Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016
3. Not all gorgeous JANES are unshakably confident "fuck-me"-boot-wearers.
Though drop-dead beautiful, JANE (40) has the appearance of someone whose confidence has been shaken. She is a raw, sexual force, impeded.— Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016
4. Professional JANES do not care what they look like. They dress in the dark and have burnt all of their combs.
JANE (late 20s) sits hunched over a microscope. She’s attractive, but too much of a professional to care about her appearance.— Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016
5. Living an "actual life" (i.e. cooking and watching cable news) gives JANES wrinkles.
His wife JANE is making dinner and watching CNN on a small TV. She was model pretty once, but living an actual life has taken its toll.— Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016
6. The best kind of JANE is the JANE who knows it's rude to own your "fuck-me"-ness.
All heads turn to find JANE (28) in the doorway: stunning and trying her best to hide it.— Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016
7. No JANE, you cannot perform CPR on me (unless you are damn "smokin'"). Then you can even give me mouth-to-mouth, ya dig?
JANE stands next to it (30's) dressed in a paramedic's uniform - blonde, fit, smokin' hot.— Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016
8. JANE is preferable when naked on a bed, not when dressed in something dull, cerulean and purchased at a chain store.
A gorgeous woman, JANE, 23, is a little tipsy, dancing naked on her big bed, as adorable as she is sexy. *BONUS PTS FOR BEING THE 1ST LINE— Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016
Like draping the Venus De Milo in a burlap dress, Jane’s sensational natural beauty fights through her plain blue Ann Taylor outfit.— Ross Putman (@femscriptintros) February 10, 2016