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Sexy woman
Photograph: ShutterstockOh hey, Jane.

8 things that Hollywood thinks of women, directly from Hollywood screenplays

Joel Meares

"JANE, 28, athletic but sexy. A natural beauty. Most days she wears jeans, and she makes them look good."

JANE is not alone. 

Movie producer Ross Putman—who wrote and produced 2012 film Trigger Finger—started a Twitter account on Tuesday where he has been tweeting verbatim (with the real names substituted for JANE) descriptions of female leads lifted directly from movie scripts. 

His Twitter bio for @femscriptintros reads: "These are intros for female leads in actual scripts I read...Apologies if I quote your work."

So far Putman has tweeted 22 such intros and picked up 41,000 followers, plus write-ups in Slate, The Guardian and well, Time Out

What do we learn about the ideally scripted woman from these scripts?

1. If JANE is over 30, it's surprising/great that she is attractive—but she will need soft lighting.

2. Men still describe non-flats as "fuck-me shoes".

3. Not all gorgeous JANES are unshakably confident "fuck-me"-boot-wearers.

4. Professional JANES do not care what they look like. They dress in the dark and have burnt all of their combs. 

5. Living an "actual life" (i.e. cooking and watching cable news) gives JANES wrinkles. 

6. The best kind of JANE is the JANE who knows it's rude to own your "fuck-me"-ness.

7. No JANE, you cannot perform CPR on me (unless you are damn "smokin'"). Then you can even give me mouth-to-mouth, ya dig?

8. JANE is preferable when naked on a bed, not when dressed in something dull, cerulean and purchased at a chain store. 

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