Looking for an eligible divorced man with a shiny new motorbike, a thinning head of hair and a penchant for dating ladies half his age?
Ladies: Dallas is where you want to be.
A new study looking at indicators of male midlife crises in different American cities shows that men in some parts of the country are freaking out much more about middle age than their crisising counterparts elsewhere.
The new study from Estately focuses on five criteria to get a measure of the numbers of men going through a midlife crisis in different cities: online searches for hair loss treatments, Craigslist ads for men seeking younger women, motorcycle purchases by Facebook users ages 33 to 55, an area's ratio of divorce lawyers to marriage counselors and new convertible sales.
Mashing the numbers together, Estately was able to show which American cities were crisising the hardest/saddest.
The real estate site determined that southerners who are over the hill—or just rounding the hill's top—are having a pretty rough go of it. Of the country's 25 largest metropolitan areas, Dallas, Atlanta, Phoenix and Miami lead the way in terms of midlife crises. That might explain why Viagra and Cialis commercials tend to be set in warm climates.
Chicago, New York and Los Angeles ranked fifth through seventh in the study, respectively, proving that the south does not have a monopoly on the divorcees-in-toupes market.
Perhaps unsurprisingly for any young woman who's been to a midtown Manhattan bar recently, middle-aged New Yorkers ranked first in the study in frequency of online searches for hair loss treatments and Craigslist ads for men seeking younger women.
In any case, one shouldn't be quick to judge folks who are simply tying to enjoy their vitality while it lasts. Millennials don't have a monopoly on hip, young people things, and as long as you're not planning on purchasing an RV, go ahead and enjoy your midlife crisis to the fullest.
Here's the complete breakdown of Estately's study: