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If the Titanic II gets built, the experience aboard will be nothing like Kate and Leo's

By Clayton Guse

You've probably read about the Australian tycoon who's planning on building a replica of the RMS Titanic, the ship that famously sunk after colliding with an iceberg in the North Atlantic Ocean during its maiden voyage in 1912. The project was first announced in 2013, but construction on the project has yet to begin—the most recent projection claims that it'll be complete in 2018. (After that? Pompeii, reborn!)

The replica, oh-so-creatively named "Titanic II," is the project of Australian billionaire Clive Palmer, a conservative, self-funded Trump-esque politician who also owns a theme park that houses 160 replica dinosaur models. It's unclear whether or not the thing will actually be built by 2018 (if at all)—the original Titanic took a little more than two years to build (granted, that was more than a century ago).

Not surprisingly, people around the world are really, really enticed by the project. After all, who wouldn't want to stand on the bow of a massive charter ship while tricking a red-headed woman into believing that she's flying?

But if you're expecting to have the same kind of star-crossed doomed-romance that was depicted in James Cameron's hit film, you're out of luck. Palmer and company have promised that the ship will be equipped with enough lifeboats to hold every passenger, totally ruining your opportunity to watch a man who drew you naked freeze to death. 

"Women and children first! And then the guys. I mean we have like plenty of boats here."

But in the very unlikely case that you are able to one day hitch a ride on Titanic II (hopefully by way of a poker game), and end up falling in love with a stranger from the "other side of the tracks," there's not a chance in hell that it'll be even close to as beautiful as the relationship that Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio depicted in the 1997 movie. I mean, look at them:

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