It turns out “resting bitch face” is a real thing.
And if you want to read about the research that apparently proves it—a study that put Anna Kendrick and Kristen Stewart’s faces into a software program to work out WTF was with their faces, yo?—you can do that here. (They also put Kanye’s in, for good measure.)
We, however, would like to stop talking about women’s (and Kanye's) not-adequately-sunshine-and-puppy-like faces for just a minute and talk about a different phenomenon, one you’ll find on the flip side of the same displeasing-face coin.
We want to talk about Resting Douche Face, or RDF.
What is RDF, you ask? Well, where RBF is the term given to faces that seem angry/annoyed/in-the-process-of-smelling-something-unpleasant, when in fact they are just being nothing much at all, RDF is a term reserved for faces that convey extreme douche-i-ness with little to no effort.
These are faces that scream: I spread STDs in college! I’ve never stood up on a bus for an older person! I will cut in front of you for that cab! Can I buy you a drink!
The RDF is typically categorized by a glinting, misplaced cockiness in the eye; a defiantly forward chin (generally surrounded by well-fed jowls); and, unlike RBF, which even the loveliest of people can suffer from, RDF tends to be reflective of the man who wears it.
It’s a glove that tends to fit: If you’ve got a resting douche face, then you’re likely a bit of a douche, even when at rest.
So, in honor of all our friends who might be getting a touch fed up with all this talk about their resting bitch faces, behold: Some of the most extreme RDFs in America.
Ted Cruz
Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/iprimages
Vote 1, RDF.
Kanye West
Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/EventPhotosNYC
Imma let you finish…but this guy has one of the best RDFs of all time. As well as RBF.
Martin Shkreli
Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/Rich Howells
Pharma RDF.
Robin Thicke
Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/Mick O
Blur the lines, Rob, but we can still see that RDF.
Stifler
Prototype RDF.
Vladimir Putin
Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/Global Panorama
RDF who likes to ride horses/invade places.
Jared from Subway
Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/Martin Keamy Fanbase
Jailbird RDF.
Aaron Schock
Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/Randy von Liski
Downton-loving RDF.
Anthony Weiner
Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/David, Bergin, Emmett and Elliott
RDF and RDD. (The D is for "Dick.")