Best comedy 2013: Our favorite #borobash jokes about the five boroughs
Our #borobash Twitter contest asks up-and-coming comics to create the best comedy jokes about New York City that they can. Here are the results:
Tue Nov 5 2013
This fall, we held our second weeklong Twitter contest, asking comedians and funny writers to tweet their best comedy about the five boroughs with the hashtag #borobash. Here are some of the best entries (and our five chosen winners), organized by borough:
RECOMMENDED: Best comedy in NYC
Previous
Next
-
Best jokes about the Bronx
New York City is thinking of changing the Bronx’s name to The Wire 3-D. —@TakeTheConrad
-
Best jokes about the Bronx
The Bronx: Where the Son of Sam is considered “a dog person.” —@BrooklynRon
-
Best jokes about the Bronx
In the Bronx, “snitches get stitches” is a health-care plan. —@BrooklynRon
-
Best jokes about the Bronx
The ATMs in the Bronx dispense pennies. —@TakeTheConrad
-
WINNER: Best joke about the Bronx
Winner (a.k.a. the Bronx Bombardier): The Bronx: Where everyone knows your name (because it’s written on your necklace, your earrings and your lower back) —@alyssawolff
-
Best jokes about Queens
Queens: Even our street gangs are boring. —@TakeTheConrad
-
Best jokes about Queens
Queens: If you can make it here, you probably failed somewhere in your life. —@prejectedjokes
-
Photograph: Wikimedia Commons user 'TwoWings'
Best jokes about Queens
Queens: A proverbial melting pot of people who hate other people in the pot for following different proverbs —@AndySandford
-
Best jokes about Queens
Queens: The official borough of lying to your family about how well you’re doing since moving to New York —@AlisonLevering
-
WINNER: Best joke about Queens
Winner (a.k.a. Killer Queens): Welcome to Queens. You probably fell asleep on the train. —@BrooklynRon
-
Photograph: Ludovic Bertron / Wikimedia Commons
Best jokes about Staten Island
Is Staten Island the worst part of New York City or the best part of New Jersey? —@BrooklynRon
-
Photograph: Simon Quinton / Wikimedia Commons
Best jokes about Staten Island
Peter Minuit bought Staten Island from the Lenape Indians in exchange for two tanning beds and tickets to WrestleMania. —@guybranum
-
Photograph: Wikimedia Commons user 'George Hernandez'
Best jokes about Staten Island
What can you write about Staten Island that hasn’t already been written in crayon by someone else? —@TakeTheConrad
-
Photograph: Wikimedia Commons user 'InSapphoWeTrust'
Best jokes about Staten Island
Spalding Gray jumped off the Staten Island Ferry when he found out where it was going. —@DanWilbur
-
Photograph: Frank Kovalchek / flickr
WINNER: Best joke about Staten Island
Winner (a.k.a. the Staten Slammer): The Staten Island Zoo opened a reptile exhibit. It’s just caged girls who’ve spent too long in the tanning bed. —@AmberSmelson
-
Best jokes about Manhattan
There was a miracle on 34th Street: It only took my cab ten minutes to cross the intersection. —@JaxGotJokes
-
Best jokes about Manhattan
Manhattan: Home to Broadway entertainment and a woman in cloth shoes screaming on the 7 train. —@AmberSmelson
-
Best jokes about Manhattan
Manhattan: I just don’t feel comfortable spending less than $15 for a sandwich. —@DaleRadio
-
Best jokes about Manhattan
Manhattan: If you can make it there, your parents are probably paying your rent. —@StephenGardella
-
Photograph: Jonathan McIntosh / Wikimedia Commons
WINNER: Best joke about Manhattan
Winner (a.k.a. the Money-Makin’ Monster): You can’t afford to live there, but this crazy old guy blocking the sidewalk can. —@AndySandford
-
Best jokes about Brooklyn
Brooklyn gentrifying? Nah. Nothing says “I get this community” like a store that only sells mayonnaise. —@JaxGotJokes
-
Best jokes about Brooklyn
Brooklyn: A group of able-bodied postcollege kids more likely to correct your grammar than correct poverty in their neighborhood. —@DanWilbur
-
Best jokes about Brooklyn
Does anyone live in Sheepshead Bay, or is that a dumping ground for last year’s unicycles? —@AmberSmelson
-
Best jokes about Brooklyn
Not every lesbian needs to own a bakery. #brooklyn —@guybranum
-
WINNER: Best joke about Brooklyn
Winner (a.k.a. Kicker of Kings): Good ol’ Brooklyn. Where half of the city is petrified of half of the city. —@NeilCharlesFTW
-
Honorable mention
Hoboken: The one that doesn’t count. —@LazyBabyMama
You might also like
Users say
More of the best comedy in New York
-
Interviews: New York Comedy Festival headliners
-
New York Comedy Festival guide
-
New faces of NYC comedy
-
How to enjoy NYC’s comedy boom
-
Stand-up and improv glossary
-
The story of New York storytelling
-
Q&A: John Mulaney
-
Video: John Mulaney cover shoot and interview
-
Our favorite #borobash jokes about the five boroughs
Comedy events calendar
-
50 Shades! The...
50 Shades! The Musical—The Original Parody. Elektr...
-
50 Shades! The...
Written by Chicago musical improv troupe Baby Want...
-
The Moth StorySLAM!
Ten stories. Three teams of judges. One winner. Th...
Get Exclusive Offers from Time Out!
@TimeOutNewYork
Subscribe to Time Out New York on Spotify for playlists and recommendations from our Music team.
Check out New York's best restaurants, hottest street style, cool apartments and more.
Comments
Add +