Best comedy 2013: Our favorite #borobash jokes about the five boroughs

Best jokes about the Bronx

New York City is thinking of changing the Bronx’s name to The Wire 3-D. —@TakeTheConrad

Best jokes about the Bronx

The Bronx: Where the Son of Sam is considered “a dog person.” —@BrooklynRon

Best jokes about the Bronx

In the Bronx, “snitches get stitches” is a health-care plan. —@BrooklynRon

Best jokes about the Bronx

The ATMs in the Bronx dispense pennies. —@TakeTheConrad

WINNER: Best joke about the Bronx

Winner (a.k.a. the Bronx Bombardier): The Bronx: Where everyone knows your name (because it’s written on your necklace, your earrings and your lower back) —@alyssawolff

Best jokes about Queens

Queens: Even our street gangs are boring. —@TakeTheConrad

Best jokes about Queens

Queens: If you can make it here, you probably failed somewhere in your life. —@prejectedjokes

Best jokes about Queens

Queens: A proverbial melting pot of people who hate other people in the pot for following different proverbs —@AndySandford

Best jokes about Queens

Queens: The official borough of lying to your family about how well you’re doing since moving to New York —@AlisonLevering

WINNER: Best joke about Queens

Winner (a.k.a. Killer Queens): Welcome to Queens. You probably fell asleep on the train. —@BrooklynRon

Best jokes about Staten Island

Is Staten Island the worst part of New York City or the best part of New Jersey? —@BrooklynRon

Best jokes about Staten Island

Peter Minuit bought Staten Island from the Lenape Indians in exchange for two tanning beds and tickets to WrestleMania. —@guybranum

Best jokes about Staten Island

What can you write about Staten Island that hasn’t already been written in crayon by someone else? —@TakeTheConrad

Best jokes about Staten Island

Spalding Gray jumped off the Staten Island Ferry when he found out where it was going. —@DanWilbur

WINNER: Best joke about Staten Island

Winner (a.k.a. the Staten Slammer): The Staten Island Zoo opened a reptile exhibit. It’s just caged girls who’ve spent too long in the tanning bed. —@AmberSmelson

Best jokes about Manhattan

There was a miracle on 34th Street: It only took my cab ten minutes to cross the intersection. —@JaxGotJokes

Best jokes about Manhattan

Manhattan: Home to Broadway entertainment and a woman in cloth shoes screaming on the 7 train. —@AmberSmelson

Best jokes about Manhattan

Manhattan: I just don’t feel comfortable spending less than $15 for a sandwich. —@DaleRadio

Best jokes about Manhattan

Manhattan: If you can make it there, your parents are probably paying your rent. —@StephenGardella

WINNER: Best joke about Manhattan

Winner (a.k.a. the Money-Makin’ Monster): You can’t afford to live there, but this crazy old guy blocking the sidewalk can. —@AndySandford

Best jokes about Brooklyn

Brooklyn gentrifying? Nah. Nothing says “I get this community” like a store that only sells mayonnaise. —@JaxGotJokes

Best jokes about Brooklyn

Brooklyn: A group of able-bodied postcollege kids more likely to correct your grammar than correct poverty in their neighborhood. —@DanWilbur

Best jokes about Brooklyn

Does anyone live in Sheepshead Bay, or is that a dumping ground for last year’s unicycles? —@AmberSmelson

Best jokes about Brooklyn

Not every lesbian needs to own a bakery. #brooklyn —@guybranum

WINNER: Best joke about Brooklyn

Winner (a.k.a. Kicker of Kings): Good ol’ Brooklyn. Where half of the city is petrified of half of the city. —@NeilCharlesFTW

Honorable mention

Hoboken: The one that doesn’t count. —@LazyBabyMama