Best comedy 2013: Our favorite #borobash jokes about the five boroughs
Our #borobash Twitter contest asks up-and-coming comics to create the best comedy jokes about New York City that they can. Here are the results:
Tue Nov 5 2013
This fall, we held our second weeklong Twitter contest, asking comedians and funny writers to tweet their best comedy about the five boroughs with the hashtag #borobash. Here are some of the best entries (and our five chosen winners), organized by borough:
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Best jokes about the Bronx
New York City is thinking of changing the Bronx’s name to The Wire 3-D. —@TakeTheConrad
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Best jokes about the Bronx
The Bronx: Where the Son of Sam is considered “a dog person.” —@BrooklynRon
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Best jokes about the Bronx
In the Bronx, “snitches get stitches” is a health-care plan. —@BrooklynRon
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Best jokes about the Bronx
The ATMs in the Bronx dispense pennies. —@TakeTheConrad
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WINNER: Best joke about the Bronx
Winner (a.k.a. the Bronx Bombardier): The Bronx: Where everyone knows your name (because it’s written on your necklace, your earrings and your lower back) —@alyssawolff
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Best jokes about Queens
Queens: Even our street gangs are boring. —@TakeTheConrad
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Best jokes about Queens
Queens: If you can make it here, you probably failed somewhere in your life. —@prejectedjokes
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Photograph: Wikimedia Commons user 'TwoWings'
Best jokes about Queens
Queens: A proverbial melting pot of people who hate other people in the pot for following different proverbs —@AndySandford
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Best jokes about Queens
Queens: The official borough of lying to your family about how well you’re doing since moving to New York —@AlisonLevering
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WINNER: Best joke about Queens
Winner (a.k.a. Killer Queens): Welcome to Queens. You probably fell asleep on the train. —@BrooklynRon
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Photograph: Ludovic Bertron / Wikimedia Commons
Best jokes about Staten Island
Is Staten Island the worst part of New York City or the best part of New Jersey? —@BrooklynRon
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Photograph: Simon Quinton / Wikimedia Commons
Best jokes about Staten Island
Peter Minuit bought Staten Island from the Lenape Indians in exchange for two tanning beds and tickets to WrestleMania. —@guybranum
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Photograph: Wikimedia Commons user 'George Hernandez'
Best jokes about Staten Island
What can you write about Staten Island that hasn’t already been written in crayon by someone else? —@TakeTheConrad
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Photograph: Wikimedia Commons user 'InSapphoWeTrust'
Best jokes about Staten Island
Spalding Gray jumped off the Staten Island Ferry when he found out where it was going. —@DanWilbur
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Photograph: Frank Kovalchek / flickr
WINNER: Best joke about Staten Island
Winner (a.k.a. the Staten Slammer): The Staten Island Zoo opened a reptile exhibit. It’s just caged girls who’ve spent too long in the tanning bed. —@AmberSmelson
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Best jokes about Manhattan
There was a miracle on 34th Street: It only took my cab ten minutes to cross the intersection. —@JaxGotJokes
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Best jokes about Manhattan
Manhattan: Home to Broadway entertainment and a woman in cloth shoes screaming on the 7 train. —@AmberSmelson
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Best jokes about Manhattan
Manhattan: I just don’t feel comfortable spending less than $15 for a sandwich. —@DaleRadio
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Best jokes about Manhattan
Manhattan: If you can make it there, your parents are probably paying your rent. —@StephenGardella
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Photograph: Jonathan McIntosh / Wikimedia Commons
WINNER: Best joke about Manhattan
Winner (a.k.a. the Money-Makin’ Monster): You can’t afford to live there, but this crazy old guy blocking the sidewalk can. —@AndySandford
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Best jokes about Brooklyn
Brooklyn gentrifying? Nah. Nothing says “I get this community” like a store that only sells mayonnaise. —@JaxGotJokes
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Best jokes about Brooklyn
Brooklyn: A group of able-bodied postcollege kids more likely to correct your grammar than correct poverty in their neighborhood. —@DanWilbur
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Best jokes about Brooklyn
Does anyone live in Sheepshead Bay, or is that a dumping ground for last year’s unicycles? —@AmberSmelson
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Best jokes about Brooklyn
Not every lesbian needs to own a bakery. #brooklyn —@guybranum
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WINNER: Best joke about Brooklyn
Winner (a.k.a. Kicker of Kings): Good ol’ Brooklyn. Where half of the city is petrified of half of the city. —@NeilCharlesFTW
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Honorable mention
Hoboken: The one that doesn’t count. —@LazyBabyMama
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