The worst Valentine's Day gift ever? I love you, here's a replica of my junk

The 3-D printing pop-up store at the Eventi hotel is offering the chance to have your genitalia scanned and reproduced. Plus, customizable gifts you may actually want to buy.

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  • This is an Ultimator 3-D printer. It'll set you back something in the range of low four-figures, but if you know what you're doing you can make it create pretty much anything. Yes, even that. Wait, you thought we'd just drop you straight into a picture of replica genitalia? Give us some credit, it's next, and it's kinda NSFW, depending on where you work.

  • That's your Valentine's Day present sorted then, you old romantic, you.

  • Draw something on an iPad connected to an Ultimaker in the Doodle Bar and have it printed in 3-D for $3.

  • There are actually some pretty cute retail items made by 3-D printers for you to buy, if your not the have-a-copy-of-my-babymaker kind.

This is an Ultimator 3-D printer. It'll set you back something in the range of low four-figures, but if you know what you're doing you can make it create pretty much anything. Yes, even that. Wait, you thought we'd just drop you straight into a picture of replica genitalia? Give us some credit, it's next, and it's kinda NSFW, depending on where you work.


3DEA, a pop-up store that's evangelizing about 3-D printing (No idea what this is? Watch the video at the end!) at the Eventi hotel, is reprising its personalized sex-toy scanning service. As in, a replica of your own [coughs].

RECOMMENDED: Valentine's Day ideas for New Yorkers

Here's how it works. You'll be taken to a private suite on the 23rd floor—either on your own ($399) or as a couple ($750)—and have the process explained to you by Chelsea Downs, founder of New York Toy Collective (newyorktoycollective.com), with an operator in his mid-20s from Direct Dimensions ShapeShot (shapeshot.com). You'll have ten minutes to ready yourself before three or four pictures are taken of your thing-that-shall-not-be-named from different angles. That's it; you're then left to enjoy champagne, chocolate, some complimentary goodies from Babeland—lube, a cock ring and a silver-bullet vibrator—and your partner/self (delete as appropriate).

Afterward, ShapeShot stitches the pictures together to make a virtual 3-D replica that is printed for you. Since the result is made of plastic, which can be a bit rough and unsanitary, the New York Toy Collective takes the printout, makes a mold and then creates a silicon version, for what was hilariously described to us as "intimacy- and dishwasher-safe" (who the fuck has a dishwasher in their apartment?).

And yes, you're able to make tweaks to the design at the virtual replica stage (that was our first question). If you're giving it to your artistic significant other, how about giving it a cubist twist?

Sessions are available on the two Mondays before Valentine's Day: Feb 4 and 11, 11am to 6pm. Sign up at sextoy.eventbrite.com.

While this is certainly the most eye-catching of offers, it's one of many cool services, classes and demos at the space. The most accessible is the Doodle Bar, a series of iPads connected to printers. Draw anything you want and it can be printed in about 15 minutes for $3. Further hilarious uses include having a full-body scan (Sat, Sun 2–4pm; $300, scan only $200) which yields a six-to-eight–inch version of your person. Check out a complete schedule at 3dea.openhouse.me. The pop-up runs through Feb 17.

Watch Time Magazine explain 3DEA and 3-D printing


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