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  1. Photograph: Grant Asken
    Photograph: Grant Asken

    Earlier, this guy bloodied his knuckle in a dispute over mugs, not drugs

  2. Photograph: Grant Asken
    Photograph: Grant Asken

    One thumb up for subtlety!

  3. Photograph: Grant Asken
    Photograph: Grant Asken

    The girl on the right's shirt says "I'm Not Irish," but from the three beers...

  4. Photograph: Grant Asken
    Photograph: Grant Asken

    You can tell he's Irish because of the double shamrock

  5. Courtesy: funnyirishtshirts.com
    Courtesy: funnyirishtshirts.com

    Agreed. Sobriety masks the brilliance of this shirt.

    Sobriety masks the brilliance of this shirt.

  6. Courtesy: funnyirishtshirts.com
    Courtesy: funnyirishtshirts.com

    If Chuck Norris were Irish..

  7. Courtesy: funnyirishtshirts.com
    Courtesy: funnyirishtshirts.com

    Always read the fine print

    Always read the fine print ("pretending to be").

  8. Courtesy: funnyirishtshirts.com
    Courtesy: funnyirishtshirts.com

    Ah Google, the Che Guevarra of the new millenium

    Ah Google, the Che Guevara of the new millennium.

Slide show: St. Patrick's Day T-shirts

When wearing green just isn't enough, these novelty tees will let everyone know how awesome you are.

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Choosing your St. Patrick's Day outfit requires serious thought. There will be photos of you on the Internet (you might even be in this slide show next year). You might wake up in a strange place without your wallet, and need to hitch a ride home from a stranger. And when you're face down in the gutter, you'll want the passerby who steps over your inert form to understand one thing: You're not just another drunk fool on a Saturday night. This (point to yourself while circling your hand) is an Irish thing.

Given the gravity of the situation, we looked through some of our old St. Patrick's Day photos, as well as funnyirishtshirts.com, for sartorial inspiration. We're now sharing our finds with you, in the hopes that you will give careful consideration to what your T-shirt will communicate when you no longer can.

RECOMMENDED: See the full St. Patrick's Day in NYC guide

 

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