Two Schmucks was built by Moe Aljaf and A.J. White with their own four hands. With recycled materials and sweat. And they keep growing with the money coming in. It's a biblical DIY job that has turned out to be a an everyday bar and a superior cocktail bar at the same time. It's also a café – with a quality guarantee from Satan's Coffee Corner – and a restaurant serving a variety of food throughout the day, including their popular brunch at night.
Leave any formalities at the door. The staff dress in T-shirts and jeans, Nas's 'Illmatic' is playing, and the tiles that make up the bar top used to be part of the stairway in the last incarnation of the space. The cocktail menu changes every month and is a catalogue of creativity and technique from the coolest of cool bars.
Moe is an extraordinary bartender. The Schmucks Vesper, with gin, vodka, Laphroaig scotch, and bits of pecorino, is impressive to say the least. Their French mule is delicious and invigorating. They've got a curious section of clarified cocktails, starring the Matador, which features scotch, cherries, oranges, sweet vermouth and burnt cinnamon. Visit the Schmucks now, and again when they evolve into their next phase, whatever that may be. All are welcome, though the sign at the door tells you a bit more about Moe and A.J.'s favourite things: 'We like dogs, spaghetti and people with long hair.'