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No. 30: I love hanging out at Navy Pier.
No. 30: I love hanging out at Navy Pier.

51 things you'll never hear a Chicagoan say

Utter any of these sentences in public and risk being called out as a faux Chicagoan. Consider yourself warned.


RECOMMENDED: Your guide to living in Chicago

1. There's too much cheese on this.

2. Ditka? Who's that?

3. I had a great experience at that House of Blues show.

4. Lakefront roller bladers are the best!

5. I'm going to a Cubs game, but I'm not drinking.

6. We should really spend more time exploring the rest of Illinois.

7. Michael Jordan? Meh.

8. Liz Phair put together a really solid career.

9.  Wicker Park is as edgy as ever.

10. John Kass is really on top of things.

11. Chief Keef sure has a bright future.

12. This past winter wasn't so bad.

13. Rahm Emanuel is totally in touch with the common man.

14. Potholes? Haven't seen too many.

15. Yeah, I'll admit I have a Chicago accent.

16. You can find some great deals on Michigan Avenue.

17. I just can't get enough of Rick Bayless.

18. Windy City LIVE makes me so proud.

19. John Cusack's Twitter feed makes him look like a reasonable guy.

20. I'm a White Sox fan, but a lot of my friends are Cubs fans and they're really cool.

21. Chicago drivers are so considerate!

22. Jerry Reinsdorf—man, I love that guy.

23. Ahhhh, the smell of this El car makes me feel like I'm in a lush, verdant forest.

24. No, I've never lived in Rogers Park.

25. Steve Albini seems like a nice guy.

26. That latest Richard Roeper column really made me think.

27. Jim Belushi? That guy is hilarious!

28. I never see any cyclists going through red lights.

29. Know what this hot dog needs? Ketchup.

30. I love hanging out at Navy Pier.

31. Shutting down all those schools was a great move.

32. Man, U.S. Cellular was packed last night.

33. The latest Daley sure was a great mayor.

34. I never had a problem with Marshall Fields becoming Macy's.

35. No one knows fashion better than the straight men of Chicago.

36. Man, those students at the U of C really know how to party.

37. I love hanging out with people from the North Shore—so down to earth.

38. We're really looking forward to the day when Timmy gets old enough to go to public school.

39.  Man, I love my alderman.

40. Willis Tower.

41. These Cubs tickets are a total bargain!

42. I stayed in great shape this winter.

43. I don't own anything from North Face.

44. I can't find a Starbucks.

45. Parking there is super easy.  

46. You know the best thing about Chicago? The weather.

47. You know the best thing about Lincoln Park? The diversity.

48.  I'm so proud Jeremy Piven is from around here.

49. I've been a Blackhawks fan for decades.

50. This bacon-on-everything trend will never get old.

51. New York is totally better than Chicago.

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