The keys to survival in the wild White City:
1. If you don’t like tahina, pretend to. Don't bother asking the waiter to hold the tahina; it will inevitably lead to this Tel Aviv thought process: "What? You don't like tahina? What's wrong with you? You're going to eat it until you do, no ifs ands or buts about it."
2. Ignore the “walking man” traffic signal 85% of the time. 15% of the time it isn't working.
3. Girl’s night out on pay day, Happy Hour the rest of the month. In fact, there's always 10 shekel kiosk wine...it doubles as vinegar.
4. Do not abruptly stop walking in the middle of the Shuk, you’ll die! Those walking through the Shuk take the path of least resistance...you are as invisible as the five p.m. fish guts according to the locals.
5. When your bike gets stolen because your friend convinced you to lock it in a vulnerable location, they owe you a beer...and a new bike. Just don't tell them that you stole the bike in the first place.
6. If you’re crazy enough to spend 40 shekels on a Goldstar at the beach, drink it instead of spilling it all over the sand. Five second rule?
7. There's a threshold for how many agorot you can leave as tip. Do NOT under any circumstance pass that threshold.
8. Do not listen to whatsapp messages on speaker phone while on the bus. No one cares about your private business. If you want to go public, start a YouTube channel.
9. Do not complain about lateness, reschedules, lost reservations, long waits, complete disregard for lining up, or anything related.
10. Even if cars don’t look like they’re going to stop for you at a crosswalk, cross anyways, they will eventually.