Taylor Swift’s empowering pop has ushered in a new wave of fem-bots in the form of Swifties. Her most loyal fans have been around for seven years, which for some is half their actual lives. Obstruct their view during ‘22’ and risk a ballet pump to the head.
The more mature belles of the ball will be there for Robbie Williams – the man with hits stacked up to his porky pecks. Up for a laugh but totally devoted, Robots’ other interests include Olly Murs, Butlers In The Buff and ‘Loose Women’.
Jessie J’s urban power-pop has spawned a throng of devotees both brimming with attitude and sympathy towards anyone picked last for netball. Whether gay, straight, young or old, being ‘fierce’ and wearing jeggings are the fundamental components of any Heartbeat.
See that swarm of beautifully preened child-men with perfect eyebrows? That’ll be the Jcats – disciples of boy band Union J who’ve followed the band’s moderate ascent since X Factor. These lads are polite but beware: they have the capacity to skewer out your eye with but a tilt of a quiff.
Not a particularly kind name for a gaggle of sensitive, quirky sorts who believe Ellie Goulding is their spirit animal, but a name nonetheless. Gouldiggers are part-emo, part-pop princess and in general sweet, slightly intense boys and girls who love a good cry. Don’t let them anywhere near white wine.
No relation to T-Cruise, Psy-entologists are extreme people who don’t just want ‘Gangnam Style’, but the entire Psy back-catalogue. Easily spotted in white suits and bow ties, expect them to do their horsey shuffle to just about any sound – including car alarms and ringtones.
In case you didn’t know, Scandinavia is cool right now. The food, the fashion, the facial hair – plus the Vikings have invaded the British Museum. All we need next is a healthy economy, a reliable public transport system and a sense of social justice, and London will be indistinguishable from Oslo. Meanwhile in Hackney, there’s yet another Northern European-inspired incursion. Or apparently so: the website claims this bar-restaurant-club draws on ‘a Nordic aesthetic’, although it’s not immediately obvious within. Oslo occupies the previously deserted old Hackney rail station and takes on a bit of a railway theme with its luggage-rack lighting, plus there are industrial stylings that give the whole place a Janet Jackson ‘Rhythm Nation’ video feel. The restaurant part is rather fancy, its food incorporating a few of the forages, pickles, jellies and marinations of New Nordic cooking. The kitchen is regularly given over to guest chefs, and you have to book – it’s always heaving. Eat in the bar and the food is more straightforward. Where once the standard snack in pubs was a toastie, sausage roll or pork pie, now it’s the slider or fried chicken. These are served alongside frankly obscene portions of chips, slathered with the likes of cured bacon fat and bacon salt, or braised oxtail, gravy and cheese. There’s a commendable range of craft beers from the vicinity, including a couple from Five Points Brewing just five minutes up the road at the Downs.Head upstairs and you’ll find a
Venue says: “Join us every Thursday night until late for Soul Soul Soul – a night of vinyl appreciation with DJs playing soul, funk, disco and more.”