We all have gross habits we’d rather keep to ourselves: nail biting, infrequent hair washing, going clothes-hamper diving. (Yuck!) The same is true of cities, where millions of people share the same dirty tendencies—in private and in public. Face it, Miami, we’re all bonded by the same filthy behavior. Here are a few nasty things you’re probably guilty of doing.
1. Ordering a colada, letting it sit out all day and drinking it cold in the late afternoon—because that is our version of an afternoon energy drink.
2. Keeping a trapito (also known as a wipe cloth) near the sink because our Latin families don’t believe in using paper towels to clean up a mess. It’s wasteful.
3. Slaughtering a pig in Hialeah (“el matadero”) and driving halfway across Miami with a dead swine in your car because “fresh” pork is always better.
4. Putting cheese in hot chocolate.
5. Walking barefoot on the streets of South Beach—and Brickell, Coconut Grove, Little Havana. If our shoes start to feel uncomfortable, we reserve the right to take them off.
6. Double dipping. Triple dipping. Seriously, germs people?
7. Kissing total strangers. What happened to shaking hands or hugging upon first meeting?
8. Nose-to-tail dining. Eating blood sausage, tripe or even an entire pig is a regular Tuesday for us.
9. Dating four people at the same time. (Because we all know you're sleeping with at least two of them.)
10. Hitting on another woman while on a date.
11. Changing in the dirty bathrooms at South Pointe Park after a day at the actual beach to go party at Nikki Beach. (Dale!)
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