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Being short on cash and with a big date looming, you’ve got some choices to make. There’s always figuring out which of your cards isn’t going to get cut up by the waiter. Or there’s heading midday to COTE Miami. Go there for dinner, and it’ll cost you a couple of hundred bucks. But there’s a lunch menu you can actually, maybe, afford—and still impress your date with your great expensive taste.
On it is the “shicken” sandwich that costs $28, and yes, you’re probably laughing now at a sandwich that costs $28. But it’s huge, as in too-big-to-eat-on-your-own sized. It looks utterly charming too, like a beautiful remake of McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish. There’s the big, fluffy La Provence Bakery bun, the tartar sauce dripping out the sides, and the slice of melty American cheese. The patty in the center is as thick as a butcher’s block, and inside there’s something quite unique: layers of pounded chicken and diced shrimp, layered together and then panko battered and fried golden.
They split the sandwich back in the kitchen, providing both a cheese-stretching cross-section and also an ideal setup for proposing to your date that you split it. This thing is so huge I guess we don’t need to order anything else, you’ll say. Two tap glasses of your finest tap water, please, and a killer chicken-shrimp sandwich, and you just took your date to one of the nicest places in Miami for $14 per person. Well done, you cheap bastard.
