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31 reasons San Francisco kicks LA’s ass

31 reasons San Francisco kicks LA’s ass
Photograph: Shutterstock

SF is simply better than LA, that’s all there is to it (to San Franciscans anyway). We’ve compiled 31 solid reasons for San Francisco supremacy, but don’t worry, in the interests of fair play, our frenemies at Time Out Los Angeles have devised a (totally misguided) list of their own. Scroll to the end of the piece to see their response!

1. San Francisco's fog is named Karl and he has 10.2k followers on Twitter. @KarlTheFog is charming, and, unlike LA's smog, won't slowly kill you.

2. We're all about that walking life. Maybe that's why we're number five in Forbes' top 20 healthiest cities in America list and LA is...oh, 19.

3. We're here, we're queer! SF Pride is the biggest pride parade in the country. We've got a lot to be proud—and naked—about.

4. Fact: Golden Gate Park is larger than Central Park, and better than whatever sorry excuse for green space you have in LA.

5. We invented the popsicle. Suck on that.

6. Also the fortune cookie. And those trendy jeans you're wearing.

7. In the future we'll be home to Starfleet Command. More reason to live long and prosper...in San Francisco.

8. Tweet anything lately? You're welcome.

9. Sun, sun, sun, blah, blah, blah. Angelenos are spoiled by sun—a hint of rain and all of a sudden nobody can remember how to drive. Not that any of you knew how to drive in the first place.

10. San Franciscans may hate on Muni, but between a ten-minute train delay and two hours stuck in teeth-grinding LA traffic, we'll take the lesser of two evils.

11. Angelenos, we gave you Instagram knowing you'd take narcissism to a new level. You and your fake noses haven't disappointed.

12. We'll give this to you though LA: You make a good setting for a Raymond Chandler novel. Because everything is awful.

13. Our bridges beat your bridges.

14. The whole Bay Area: You can get tan in Santa Cruz, get learned in Palo Alto and get down in Oakland.

15. We can hike without getting heat stroke.

16. Mission burritos: La Taqueria took first place in data wonk Nate Silver's national, 64-restaurant Burrito Bracket, handily beating out Al and Bea's in LA.

17. We also have the best ice cream—while Angelenos are still slurping down cups of low-cal froyo, we savor such revelatory flavors as Jesus Juice, durian, purple yam and wasabi.

18. The most popular dog breed in LA is the Chihuahua—presumably because it can be stowed in a designer handbag and still leaves room for a green juice and an oversize cosmetic case. The most popular dog in SF? The respectable Labrador retriever.

19. We don't wear heels, bronzer, extensions and two coats of mascara to brunch. We were normcore before normcore was cool: Gap, Old Navy, and Levi's are all headquartered here.

20. Because everything's better with cats: San Francisco is home to the country's first permanent cat cafe, KitTea.

21. San Francisco gives tax breaks to urban farms. LA has recently been in the news for giving tax breaks to…country clubs.

22. Between Lyft, Uber and Sidecar, having a car in San Francisco is a unnecessary. Not only is having a car indispensable in LA, but you'll spend an average of 90 hours a year stuck in traffic. Oh, and, judging by recent stats, it'll probably be stolen.

23. We have LA—where everyone's a "stylist"—to thank for popularizing such unfortunate trends as Uggs, Juicy Couture track suits, and "fashion" overalls. Meanwhile, we invented smartwatches.

24. Plus, we’re simply more stylish: San Francisco has the highest concentration of designers in the country, according to the Atlantic's CityLab.

25. Gummi, cookie, or brownie? While LA has shut down over 100 medical marijuana dispensaries since last year, they're booming here in SF.

26. Our coffee is better than your coffee, with a slew of artisan, fair-trade, bean-obsessed companies like Blue Bottle (which recently took over LA's own Handsome Coffee), Ritual, Four Barrel, Sightglass, Andytown and Supersonic.

27. So is our wine.

28. Los Angeles is where reality TV stars go to shill when their five minutes are up. San Francisco is where creatives go when they tire of New York.

29. Silicon Beach is just wannabe Silicon Valley with better shoes.

30. In LA, 13-year-olds and 50-year-olds both look 25. San Francisco ages gracefully.

31. True, San Francisco has been ranked both snobbiest and smuggest city. Yeah, we're right and we're better. What about it?

See LA's response: 31 reasons LA kicks San Francisco's ass
Then agree or disagree with the 31 things that will definitely happen to you when you move to SF

Have your own reasons SF kicks LA's ass? Share them in the comments section below.

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