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Photograph: Courtesy CC/Flickr/Thomas Hawk

9 reasons San Franciscans hate a heatwave

By Time Out San Francisco editors
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What is that number on the thermometer and why does it make us so uncomfortable? It's 12-thousand degrees in the City by the Bay right now and it's all anyone can talk about. San Franciscans have drenched themselves in Right Guard and are hunkering down in air-conditioned movie theaters and big box stores until this heat wave passes. Sure, we're used to an Indian Summer, but this week's scorcher is making us miserable. Here's why:

1. Isn't is supposed to be remarkably cold in San Francisco? Yes. That's why we live here. We like it, we're comfortable in it, and we instinctively bring a sweater wherever we go. This week we're not only hotter than Hades, but we're lugging around a down parka out of sheer habit. 

2. San Francisco is not set up for a heat wave. No one has air conditioning. Few of us even own a house fan. Why would we? This is ice cold, nice cold San Francisco. We are unprepared for it to be in the 70s at midnight, much less 90 in the middle of the day. Gross.

3. This weather is a constant and depressing reminder that global warming is real, just like we've been telling everyone for decades.

4. The lines at BiRite Creamery are always a force to be reckoned with, but this week's mad dash for ice cream is down right ridiculous. Still, this is San Francisco. We will wait in line for two hours for designer ice cream. We'll just complain about it more than usual this week. 

5. Adding ice is a must for any coffee drinker this week, but it really tends to water down our Jacob's Wonderbar from Philz

6. It's only once every blue moon that a heatwave like this descends onto San Francisco. We have no time to get used to this weather and to figure out ways to enjoy it. It'll be freezing again by the weekend. Local heatwaves are only slightly more common than minor earthquakes—and they're less enjoyable. 

7. It's too hot to bike anywhere so car ridership is up—smogging up our sweltering city. Even worse, bikers hop a bus instead. And the only thing worse than a heatwave in San Francisco is riding skin-to-skin in a standing-room-only Muni during a San Francisco heatwave.  

8. The stench of San Francisco becomes a fragrance unlike any other. If you're wondering what exactly is wafting it's way into your nose this week, in all likelihood it's a mix of human urine and melted organic popsicles. 

9. We're expected to work in this weather? If the East Coast gets snow days, San Francisco should get sun days.

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