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Gleneagles isn’t like other luxury hotels. Not only does this stately Scottish bolthole have a den full of ferrets, a deeply zen outdoor sauna and the kind of breakfast that puts Las Vegas’ bountiful buffets to shame, there’s also a spooky wine cellar where you can indulge in a Champagne-drenched feast. Oh, and they’ll let you shoot a gun. Beat that, The Ritz.
If you’ve ever heard anything about Gleneagles Hotel, it’s probably thanks to its world-renowned golf courses. Politics purists might remember its stint hosting the 2005 G8 Summit, when Blair, Bush and Berlusconi hobnobbed over haggis. If you really know your rock’n’roll lore, it might even be to do with Oasis’s gig there for Sony Records execs in 1994. That said, it’s more than possible to keep yourself entertained at this Perthshire paradise if you have zero interest in birdies, bogies and Britpop. It’s not in the list of the Leading Hotels of the World for nothing.
I’m not hugely concerned with any of the above (Oasis aside), but Gleneagles’ brand of luxury is pretty easy to enjoy, even when the hotel’s grey stone facade matches the gloomy sky. However, as we’re told approximately 50 times during our stay, in Scotland you’ll experience all four seasons in a single day. This 1924-built cathedral to hospitality is glorious, a sprawling pile that’s The Traitors castle minus Claudia Winkleman, but complete with fleets of Land Rover Defenders. And it’s even more glorious when the sun comes out.
It’s these cars which shuttle guests to the on-site shooting lodge as well as Frandy Water, Gleneagles’ newly-launched outdoor watersports location. On a reservoir in the nearby Ochil Hills, here you can get stuck into kayaking, canoeing or trout fishing. We decided to sit and sweat inside a cedar-pannelled hobbit-house of a sauna while a softly spoken sauna-master thwacked us tenderly with birch leaves. Bliss.
Due to the hotel being pretty off-grid, plenty of entertainment is provided within the grounds. Which is how I ended up with a Beretta strapped to my shoulder, shooting clay pigeons like Travis Bickle in a Barbour. Despite my initial hesitance, I blasted my first clay. And my second. And my third. And so on. To discover I was a natural born sniper was something I found surprisingly and concerningly enjoyable.
But Gleneagles is not all hunting and fishing. You can live a soft life here too. Start by finding the American Bar, one of the Top 50 Cocktail Bars in the UK, and casually quaff high-octane tipples from a menu centred around botanicals grown and foraged on the hotel’s estate. Or simply order one of the best martinis you’ve ever drank. Then (sorry, ladies only), find the women’s cloakroom and step into a fabulously pink powder room for a particularly pleasurable mirror selfie. Think California's gorgeously batshit Madonna Inn with a touch of Rivals-era chic. So gorgeous I had to be dragged out.
But fancy loos will only get you so far. As well as 11 bars and restaurants – including the newly opened The Cellar x Dom Pérignon in the hotel’s century-old wine cellar, where they’ll fling endless bumps of caviar at you – guests can saddle up as part of a horse riding school. There’s also climbing, cycling, off-road driving and all the kinds of things you’d expect at one of the luxe Leading Hotels of The World (an exclusive group which also includes The Ritz in London and New York’s Hotel Chelsea). A stacked lineup, if your wallet can handle it.
Leonie Cooper was a guest of The Leading Hotels of the World and The Gleneagles Hotel. Explore: The Leading Hotels of the World by Spencer Bailey is published by Monacelli, 31st July, £54.95 (Phaidon.com)
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